


YOI Fic Amnesty Collection

by forochel



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Notting Hill Fusion, Chat!fic, Gen, M/M, Not!Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 16:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13170639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forochel/pseuds/forochel
Summary: this is a graveyard for the chatfic with aly/plotbunnies/unfinished YOI fics that I will not be pursuing further.formatting will range from raw chatfic logs to actual prose.chapter titles marked with the specific chapter rating.capitalisationwillbe erratic. probably there will be unfinished sentences.





	1. flip AU (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because i'm an ornery bastard, this is what fandom terms a "reverse" au but i have chosen to call a flip AU. puns are great. this is egregiously chatficcy.

It is 2016, a pleasantly chilly autumn day in Beijing, and Yuuri has just had his beautiful Russian student fling himself at him in front of all the gods and fellow coaches, before flinging himself back out the door.

"He's very affectionate," Yuuri says with a determinedly straight face. "Needs physical reassurance. Um, you know."

Phichit, an old rinkmate who retired two years ago to coach and run a seasonal ice show, is uncharacteristically mute, eyes rounded with disbelief.

Yuuri shrugs. "So I let him hang off me, I guess. Whatever your athlete needs, right?"

There's that slight hint of uncertainty peeking through the whole Coach Katsuki facade that Yuuri hasn’t managed to perfect yet, so Phichit summons up a smile.

"Yeah, Yuuri,” Phicht says soothingly, the way he used to when Yuuri was panicking. “That's what the books say anyway."

Yuuri gets the feeling that there’s something Phichit isn’t saying; it’s the look in his old friend’s eyes. 

*

In another room, deep in the underbelly of the Capital Gymnasium, Viktor is moaning at Chris: "I keep THROWING MYSELF AT HIM, BUT NOTHING YOU SAID TO TRY WORKS!"

For someone who hasn’t quite grown out of the fluffy little angel phase yet, Chris has the filthiest smile. "Did you strip and lie naked in his bed?"

Viktor goes so red he can feel the warmth from his own cheeks. "No!"

"Then you aren't trying hard enough," Chris declares.

"You're only SEVENTEEN; you're a BABY -- WHAT DO YOU KNOW!" Viktor shrieks, ears burning, and stomps off, ponytail a comforting weight swinging behind him.

Viktor stomps himself all the way back up to the waiting room, where Yuuri’s still talking to Chris’s saucy-eyed coach, to fling himself onto Yuuri's back again. Yuuri staggers, because Viktor at nineteen is lankier and taller than he is and already growing into his height. Viktor wishes Yuuri’d started coaching him before Viktor had his last growth spurt.

"Viktor!" Yuuri says reprovingly, whilst Coach Chulanont snickers in the background. "A little warning, please?"

Viktor just sighs melodramatically into the back of Yuuri's head.

He’d never get to do this with Yakov; he’s so lucky.

* * *

Okay, let’s rewind --

December of the year Yuuri turned 23: 

Fresh off his fourth consecutive GPF Gold, his ascendant career is tragically cut short by an narrowly-averted collision during open practice at the Japanese Nationals. At the expense of his ACL, his brain, and the poor young skater’s reputation. 

“It could have happened to anyone,” Yuuri tells the reporter’s recorder, stuck eagerly over the hospital bed railing. He lifts a hand; the IV cable swings gently with the motion. “I don’t blame Skater Minami at all. All I thought of was -- how can I avoid landing on him? And then, well. Pop!” 

January of the year Yuuri turned 24: 

There has to be some kind of irony in going through physiotherapy _while_ studying the thing itself. 

“I’m a real life case study,” he tells his physical therapist, pain and exhaustion overriding his ability to hide the bitterness. “Do you think I could do my final project on myself?” 

March of the year Yuuri turned 24: 

Equipped with a degree, a healing knee, and a recommendation for a physiotherapist in Fukuoka, Yuuri returns to his sleepy seaside hometown in the dying days of March. 

“I’ve got four more months at least,” he tells Minako, who was there at Nationals, and there when he was at his lowest, those painful first weeks after the surgery, and is here now, at the train station, pirouetting like she didn’t go through almost exactly what he is something over 20 years ago. 

She smiles at him and rolls up the welcome home banner she unfurled. “Well, you can be sure that the train conductors will give you a seasonal discount on those train tickets.”

Hasetsu’s Town Council still hasn’t taken down the sakura-laden posters of him. It’s embarrassing, makes his gorge rise. Yuuri turns his eyes determinedly away from the walls. “Do you think people will want to hire a physiotherapist who needs physiotherapy?” 

“I think,” Minako says firmly, “that you need a break.” 

And then April: 

A cold front blows into Kyushu, bringing with it heavy snow and Russia’s Greatest Hope.

* * *

Russia’s Greatest Hope loves onsens. 

He loves onsens and katsudon and Maccachin, and the auxiliary credit card that his parents gave him “for emergencies”.

Viktor rather thinks tracking down Katsuki Yuuri after he’d cruelly disappeared from public life (understandable, though; Viktor, too, wouldn’t know what to do with himself he couldn’t skate anymore) and taking him up on his (drunken, but drippingly sincere) offer to “show Viktor how it’s done” counts as an emergency.

“Mama,” Viktor tells the curling steam that shrouds the delightful outdoor hot spring. “I hope you don’t mind Yakov yelling. I hope he doesn’t yell at you. The coaching contract was due for renewal this year anyway.”

He’s about to continue his soliloquy -- enumerating all the very good and rational reasons he had for hopping on a plane (a series of planes) to Hasetsu, Kyushu, when the sliding door slams open behind him. 

Viktor hops to his feet; they almost slip out under him as he turns.

And this is the moment Viktor will recount when he tells the story of How I Fell In Love With & Decided to Seduce My Coach, Japanese Hero Katsuki Yuuri:

The highlights of this catalytic moment are: windmilling arms, a forearm tingling in a strong, calloused grip, being pulled back to rights. Once Viktor’s life has finished flashing befre his eyes, he sees glasses adorably fogged up by the steam and a hat half-falling off a dark mop of flyaway hair. 

Mindful of onsen hygiene, Viktor reaches out to right the the hat. It has two little nubs, like -- oh! Viktor realises with delight. A cat! 

“I -- what --” Katsuki Yuuri stutters, letting go and taking a few steps back. “N-Nikiforov?” 

Viktor doesn’t think he’s ever seen Katsuki Yuuri like this before; it’s fascinating. And adorable. His eyes are a beautiful, warm brown, wide behind his glasses. They’ve always been narrowed in concentration at competitions. Killer Katsuki. Stoneface Katsuki. Not this pink, confused man staring at him. 

Turning slightly to show off his best side, Viktor turns his hand palm up, inviting, and gives Yuuri the most inviting smile he has in his repertoire. 

“Reporting for duty, coach!”

*

Jetlag drags at Viktor’s eyelids as he slumps over the low table; it is chilly even for his Russian bones in here, the rough cotton of the “jinbei” that the nice, wild-haired lady gave him no barrier against the cold. He’s glad for the warm bulk of Maccachin against his side, and the paltry heat that the clanking radiator in the corner is putting out.

All that Viktor really wants to do is lie down on the sweet-smelling tatami, surprisingly comfortable, and close his eyes. He’s used to a strict schedule of sleeping early and rising with the sun, and it is already bedtime in Piter. But Yuuri still hasn’t emerged from where it was that he retreated to shortly and abruptly after Viktor’s blithe declaration, and Viktor wants another chance to properly say his piece while not-naked. 

He buries his face in Maccachin’s fur and breathes in the familiar, doggy smell of her. 

“Aaah, Vicchan!” Yuuri’s mother, the smiley, portly woman who told him to call her Hiroko-san, frightens the living daylights out of Viktor. 

He jerks up with something rather like a scream, if he were pressed to confess. 

She’s laughing at him with her eyes, magnified behind her large, round glasses. They’re a lot like Yuuri’s. 

“You look tired, ne?” Hiroko-san says, and kneels to put a lacquered tray jostling with food down on the table. There’s a big black bowl with a red cover, and a smaller version that Viktor thinks may contain soup, and a series of tiny little square plates with delicious-looking things in them. “Eat this before you sleep.” 

Viktor looks up from the tray, blinking stickily at her. 

“See.” Hiroko-san lifts the lids, and Viktor is immediately hit with the smell of rich, savoury heaven. “Katsudon! My special dish.”

His stomach grumbles. 

“Wow,” Viktor whispers, hands flying to his hair, pulling the thick, damp sheaf of it into a loose knot at the nape of his neck, away from his face. It’ll come out all weird and wavy, but -- food -- now! 

He beams back at Hiroko when she smiles at the way he holds his chopsticks (thank you, Petra, he silently thinks at his sister), and then lifts a sticky morsel to his lips.

Viktor has no idea what’s happening in his mouth, just that it’s -- “Vkusno!” -- and forcing his brain to work faster, adds, “Oishii?” 

Hiroko claps happily, and they are so busy being happy about katsudon that Viktor almost chokes to death when he hears a warm, low laugh from behind him. 

But oh, what a glorious, delicious death! The Love of His Life, Katsuki Yuuri, pads elegantly into Viktor’s peripheral vision, which quickly snaps into his full range of vision. Yuuri’s wearing a ... yukata, that’s it, and a warm brown housecoat that matches his eyes. Viktor wants to fling himself at Yuuri’s feet. 

Yuuri says something in Japanese that makes Hiroko-san laugh brightly and put her hands to her cheeks. Then she says something that makes Yuuri flush that delectable pink again and splutter at her. 

If Viktor weren’t watching their interplay so intently, Yuuri’s quick glance at him would have entirely escaped his notice. 

There’s more rapidfire Japanese, a few more glances at Viktor, and then Hiroko-san is skipping off to the kitchen, presumably to get more of this delicious katsudon for Yuuri.

Yuuri’s sigh as he folds slowly down across the table from Viktor is like the winter wind through cypress trees; he’s got a hand on the table for the last few inches and a wince on his face. There’s something twisting in Viktor’s belly, a fizzing sourness under his ribs as he tries not to watch.

A drawn out silence follows, Yuuri propping his chin up in one palm and looking at Viktor. 

“I can’t be your coach!” 

“Fine.” Yuuri gives in at last, looking so frazzled it squashes the rising happiness in Viktor’s belly. “But -- for a one week trial, first. Okay? I can’t in good conscience...” he shakes his head. “You’re very good, Viktor. I don’t know why you’d want me instead of Yakov Feltsman.”

* * *

[equivalent of summer of pining basically] 

 

and Viktor feels like the worst kind of pervert because he has some very specific fantasies about what Yuuri is like in bed

oh god, the first time Viktor sees Yuuri drunk is when Phichit drags them all out for drinks and the next thing Viktor knows, his coach is grinding against someone and that is not ON  
OH MY GOD, oh no young vitya all smitten (this never changes) and seeing his coach grinding up against some absolute stranger who also ?? has ?? blonde hair ??????  
vitya turns to Phichit and is like "Phichit, does Yuuri like blondes?"  
and Phichit's like I SEE YOU, YOUNGLING. I SEE YOU.

Phichit gets to be 27

 

lanky little Viktor just kind of glaring at Phichit resentfully

OH MAN Viktor totally thinks Phichit and Yuuri are a thing at one point

"stop TEASING me!" Viktor exclaims, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear.  
oh god he does  
and he pines

and is super salty about it  
HE PINES SO HARD  
Phichit laughs very loudly

I feel like ivktor would take "if you love it let it go" very seriously  
because he's a ROMANTIC

he's all big tragic eyes whenever Phichit and Yuuri stand next to each other at competitions

 

("I support your in your pursuit of nubile young men, little bro" she says solemnly.  
"my pursuit of - what - I don't - he's not - we aren't-" Yuuri splutters.)  
Viktor watches interestedly. he didn't know that stoneface katsuki could turn those colours.  
the MAN behind the IMAGE  
"Dear Mama, I think he will be a very good coach for me, and also a boyfriend. Just you wait. With Love, Vitya."  
Mama Vita, back in Russia: oh dear.

(HAHAHAHA. "Mama, I will bring home a son-in-law this year. Along with a gold medal.")

 

(Mama Vita: "you're only 19, darling, a gold medal will do. and even then we are ever so 

(when Mama Vita meets Yuuri, she's all: "Oh, never mind what I said about you being just 19, Vitya. Papa and I will pay for the wedding.")

*  
ok and then basically Viktor tries the whole going cold turkey thing and Yuuri's like....what? this is Not Productive. what are you doing, Vitya?  
and Viktor, who at 19 is a perfect storm of teenaged hormones and confused emotions, shouts DON'T CALL ME THAT!!  
and Yuuri retreats in hurt silence  
it's all very sad and angsty

*

“You really should sneak naked into his bed,” Chris says absently, swiping through Tindr 

Viktor reaches out and swipes left for him. That guy looked way older than he was claiming to be. 

"He's already seen me naked, Chris!” Viktor complains. “We live in his family's onsen inn!"

“Oh my god,” says Chris, looking up from his phone and completely missing the point. “You've seen Yuuri Katsuki naked?!”

Viktor throws a pillow at him.

*

“Paint me like one of your french girls!” viktor declares. His jinbei is slipping dangerously off one shoulder and he’s wobbling. He’s so drunk, and so, so young. 

Yuuri takes the tilting bottle out of his hand and sets it on the table. “I don’t have any French girls. Time for bed, Viktor.” 

The hand Yuuri freed slams down onto the tatami between then, and Viktor tilts forward in its wake. His face is suddenly too near Yuuri’s, his eyes big and liquid and cerulean, vulnerable with -- just, just vulnerable. 

*

feat. swiss meadow boy Christophe giacometti  
Coach Yuuri thinks Chris is such a sweet boy, "you need to be nice to him, Vitya."  
Yuuri: *remembers becoming friends with Phichit*   
Viktor: UH??? NO??? He's NOt SWEET  
Viktor: HE'S TERRIBLE  
he gives TERRIBEL ADVICE  
HE TELLS ME TO --- and then Viktor blushes all the way up to the tips of his ears and bottles up.  
Yuuri tilts his head to the side adorably

*

he starts putting his hair up in like...idk what they're called  
it clipping it up so it bares his neck  
goes around pulling the collar of his jinbei low  
and Yuuri's just like "Vitya it's cold put on a scarf, wear your jinbei properly, you'll get a stiff neck"

*

"please," Yuuri says, covering his eyes with his attractively begloved hand. "stop encouraging your skater."  
on ice, Chris runs a hand down his very underaged body.

"i'm so proud of you," Phichit tells Chris tearfully.

 

Viktor's like "oh my god, so creative!!!!" and he turns to Yuuri pleadingly.  
Yuuri's already like "no, vitya. no."  
for my blood pressure, vitya, no.  
Yuuri SOMEHOW GETS ROPED INTO TEACHING Chris POLE DANCING  
"Yuuri, he needs to build up his upper body strength! I'll pay you!"  
"Phichit, you can literally get anyone to teach Chris poledancing."  
"You're the only one I trust. Please, Yuuri."   
"UGH FINE."  
Chris is #blessed

oH MY GOD  
VITYA IS HOPPING MAD WHEN HE FINDS OUT

"this is the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me," Chris whispers

"ME TOO Yuuri ME TOO!!!"

Yuuri's just like just drop and give me 100 vitya  
that'll be enough for your upper body strength

but Yuuri PLAYED HIMSELF  
bc VITYA SERIOUSLY, between the ages of 20 and 21, GETS PUMPED AND FILLS IN PROPERLY  
and in a fit of "he'll never take me seriously if he keeps on seeing me as a kid!!!" Viktor cuts his hair short''

Yuuri: oh no

this is all back in russia when he's doing physical training and followning the menu  
Yuuri: oh god my student grew up hot

 

and yakov is Eternal  
vitya does his PT in st petersburg anyway, with georgi  
and georgi is like "oh, about time you started filling out properly like the rest of us"

which of course just fans the flames of Viktor's competitive spirit  
"I'LL SHOW YOU!"  
also. yurio and Viktor obviously pining after Yuuri.  
Phichit is beside himself in laughter, "dude, you're like, Russian catnip."

like at one point, yakov brings yurio to a senior's competition and literally runs into Yuuri katsuki (who yurio has watched for YEARS) and stupid vitya

yakov is like "sometimes I hate you for stealing my best skater --"  
and Yuuri just puts his hands up like "I didn't do ANYTHING!"  
and yakov carries on as though Yuuri hadn't said anything at all: "and yet sometimes, I want to thank you for taking him off my hands."

"well," Yuuri says, ducking his head. "I'll have to thank you for letting him go."  
and then they both smile at each other meaningfully.  
and Viktor who has been watching from around the corner with Chris, whispers dolefully, "Oh no they're making friends."

for the rest of the night, Yuuri looks at Viktor with this soft look in his eyes and Viktor is just so deeply entrenched in his feelings for Yuuri katsuki  
"I'm glad you asked me to be your coach," Yuuri whispers when he thinks Viktor is already asleep

 

he brushes almost reverent fingers down Viktor's hair and tugs the sheet to cover Viktor fully. "Good night, Vitya."

 

idk the first time is probably like.....a culmination. of the whole. cold turkey thing  
Yuuri starts reaching out first  
bc he is genuinely concerned

 

.....and still operating under the assumption that Viktor feeds off physical reassurance  
um no he stops flinging himself at Yuuri basically  
so he stops being. ...cuddly  
and avoids physical contact with Yuuri  
and Yuuri doesn't really know what to do so he like....pats Viktor on the arm  
puts a hand in between Viktor's shoulderblades when Viktor is stretching and says in a low voice that makes Viktor go all puddly, "that's good, Viktor, hold it for 30 more seconds"  
& Viktor almost -- almost!!! takes it back and wails CALL ME VITYA AGAIN  
but he has his pride  
and then at the next competition Viktor's sitting down with his earphones in, unexpectedly jittery, and he feels Yuuri's fingers on the back of his neck, the weight and warmth of his palm curved against his skin, and it's  
it's making his heart skip & something settle inside him.all the same.  
like it's nice that Yuuri can still read him even if he's been pulling himself away and is trying to reach out and make things better for him

 

the next night, after the exhibition  
which was yet another nikiforov special  
i.e. "NOTICE ME, COACH!!!!"

and Viktor has been going """cold turkey"""" on touching Yuuri for a while now, so he's turned 21  
the most MISERABLE BIRTHDAY EVER

because all he wanted to do was fling himself onto Yuuri at the kiss and cry and be like " ARE YOU PROUD OF ME DID YOU SEE THAT???"  
but no, his PRIDE  
and Yuuri smiles at him and pats him on the elbow and is like "that was very well done, Viktor."  
and it's NOT ENOUGHHHHHHHH  
Viktor gets drunk at the banquet that night oh my god

 

okay so he's like, UPSET right bc he really likes hanging all over Yuuri, Yuuri is THE PERFECT HEIGHT to tuck under his chin or if Viktor slumps he can hook his chin over Yuuri's shoulder, and he likes it! just being close! being allowed so close!!!  
he likes being close to people he likes!  
but now because of reasons Viktor can't REALLY remember anymore, he can't do this with Yuuri any more. they were good reasons, and he has them written down somewhere, but somehwere isn't HERE, in this banquet room in moscow with all the stolichnaya in tiny little crystal shot glasses.

 

and Yuuri is off somewhere talking to gods know who which is STUPID because Yuuri doesn't even speak RUSSIAN

and Viktor doesn't really have friends here, because he left so soon after joining seniors and georgi is busy romancing some ice dancer and yurio and mila are too young AND too old to be much fun.

so Viktor decides that an alcoholic haze will make things more fun, or at least less sad, and he just TIPS THEM DOWN.  
Yuuri appears eventually, and says, "oh, vit-Viktor -- wait, Viktor?"  
at this point, the world is tilted and the floor is pleasantly rolling under Viktor's feet. it's a good place to be. "you should go back to calling me vitya," Viktor tells Yuuri, and reaches out to pat Yuuri reassuringly on the chest. he loves Yuuri's chest, even if that tie should have been burnt before it was made.

 

"okay, vitya," Yuuri murmurs, sounding worries. why's he worried? the world's such a friendly place! two ice dancers just went away from their wonderful chat about the wonderful properties of guerlain's colour-correcting meteorite series! they had many drinks together.

Viktor tells Yuuri as much.  
"you and your guerlain," Yuuri says fondly, even if he sounds a little confused. "That's all I got out of your babble, you know."  
"I don't babble!" Viktor says indignantly, and slaps a bit at Yuuri. oops.  
"of course you don't," says Yuuri. he sounds indulgent and warm and all Viktor wants to do is fold into him. Yuuri's so lovely and strong and clever and --  
"okay, okay," Yuuri's saying, and his arm! is! around! Viktor! "let's get you back to your room."  
Viktor leans into him. Yuuri staggers a little sideways, before bearing back up again.  
"please work with me, vitya," Yuuri requests, in that same tone that made Viktor feel happy and like he was tingling all over.  
Viktor carefully puts one foot in front of the other, frowning in concentration at his brogues.  
"that's it," Yuuri says. his breath is tickling the side of Viktor's neck. he wriggles a little. "ah! vitya, no, don't. come on, focus now."  
and then he pats Viktor on the side, right under Viktor's armpit, and Viktor almost starts crying.

 

he's missed this so much.  
"oh lord," Yuuri says. there's a distant crackle, when Viktor realises he's upset Yuuri. again. "oh no, vitya, don't cry. come on, the door's just here."  
it feels like a very long, drawn-out dream, the journey back to his room. like Viktor's trying to steer his body from outside of it, like reaching through honey.  
he still feels a little like he's going to start crying, the itch scratching away at his chest, when they get to what Yuuri says is his room.  
"no," Viktor hears himself say, voice small. "I want to stay with you."

 

Yuuri sighs: it's a full-bodied, physical thing.

"please," Viktor hurries onto say. he doesn't know why, but the desperation is pressing at his throat, all the gnarled feelings of the past months a dense ball hurting the raw insides of it. "please, Yuuri. I'll be good, I promise, I just --"

"oh, vitya," Yuuri says quietly. he shuffles Viktor in his arms and reaches up. it's only at the touch of Yuuri's thumb that Viktor realises he's started crying.

"okay." Yuuri moves them one door along. "I don't want to leave you alone like this anyway."

AND THEN Yuuri PUTS Viktor INTO BED AFTER MAKING HIM CHANGE INTO Yuuri'S SOFT, SOFT PYJAMA PANTS (they cuff at his calves instead of the ankles) AND A GIANT DETROIT RED WINGS T-SHIRT AND MAKES HIM DRINK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WATER

the bed dips a little with Yuuri's weight, right at the edge. "go to sleep, vitya. you need it."  
and Viktor, who's too tired to keep away anymore, rolls a little closer so he can nuzzle into Yuuri's hip. it's soft and Yuuri smells nice, dark berries and spice and vanilla.

"I love you," Viktor lets himself mumble into that soft curve, eyelids dragging shut under the weight of sleep, and then he knows no more.

 

*

Rings are years later

even when they're together Viktor just sees this as something hanging over their relationship  
which, tbf, Yuuri also has a lot of anxxiety over  
the whole "oh god am I taking advantage / what will people think"

and Viktor's just like "NO *I* made the first move do you really think you can make me do something I don't want to do if it isn't skating / I don't care why should you"


	2. v nikiforov's charity calendar (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *points at chapter title*  
> this barely counts as fic tbh it's just a plunny.

As with most things Viktor does these days, he was entirely motivated by the desire to make Yuuri happy. Or make Yuuri tear off his clothes (who ‘his’, here, refers to is entirely irrelevant; either or both are acceptable outcomes). 

**Viktor Nikiforov Commissions a Charity Calendar in Semi-Secret**

“I am so excited, darling,” Viktor says one day.

Yuuri looks up from where he’s pillowed his head on Viktor’s softening middle. Viktor’s taken to mournfully pinching the thin layer of subcutaneous blubber and shaking his head until Yuuri tuts in irritation and fucks him. 

“About?” 

Viktor grins. “Your present!” 

Yuuri gives him a wary look. 

***

“I’m worried, Chris,” Yuuri whispers over their videocall. “I’m sorry about disturbing you, but ... do you know what Viktor’s up to?”

Chris grins. “Oh, mon cherie, there is nothing to be worried about. I promise you will enjoy his surprise very much.”

This does not particularly reassure Yuuri.

***

 

“Phichit,” Yuuri says sternly. The shit-eating grin on Phichit’s face is all too indicative. “Tell me.” 

“I promised not to~” Phichit sings, before widening his eyes and clasping his hands to his chest. “Would I betray a secret? Me?”

Yuuri looks at him.

“Okay, fine, sometimes,” says Phichit. “But I just get so excited! And never the really important ones!” 

“Our definitions of important differ sometimes,” Yuuri mutters. “China, for example.”

Phichit sighs. “Okay, fine. I’ll tell you one thing.” 

Yuuri peers at him. “How ... how involved are you in this?”

“Ooooh,” Phichit shapes his mouth into a perfect ‘o’. “Excellent question, my friend.”

“So?” Yuuri taps his fingernail impatiently against the kotatsu top. Viktor’ll be home from his jog any time now.

“I’m a concept consultant,” Phichit says proudly. “You’re going to love it.”

***

Viktor’s actually terrible at keeping a secret over a long period of time.

Yuuri sits on his cock and doesn’t let him come until he spills. Metaphorically.

***

 

january: abominable snowman!viktor: he's just wearing (synthetic! vegan!) pelts of fur draped artfully over him  
february: valentine's!viktor: basically they position yuuri just beyond the cameras and tell viktor to gaze soulfully upon his love's countenance  
march: white day!viktor: viktor in a suit proffering a box of chocolate. yuuri's hands cameo in this one  
april: easter bunny!viktor: enough said  
may: lumberjack viktor: bearded, plaid shirt unbuttoned, wearing just briefs and timberlands with a foot propped up on a stump and (blunt) axe over his shoulder. they totes had to photoshop out hickeys bc BEARD + YUURI  
june: viktor as oberon, yuuri as titania  
July: seaside month  
August: obon month  
September: viktor in a suit  
october is alt-bro!viktor month  
(november's the nude spread)

and december's traditional!russian!dress!viktor  
which yuuri has a weakness for  
yuuri's always like "he looks so good in it but i want to take it off with my teeth but also he looks SO GOOD IN IT"  
he makes viktor fuck him WITH the outfit on IIN FRONT OF A MIRROR so he can see

* * *

more on alt!bro viktor:

ME:  
OK SO MANBUN!VIKTOR  
oh wait you're asleep  
damn  
i'm just, it's the collision of both yuuri's fantasies AT ONE GO  
and obvs phichit's like HE LOOKS LIKE A HIPSTER  
esp when viktor also grows some stubble???  
and yuuri actually posts an insta photo for once and it's viktor on their couch with his hair up and his face resting on curled fingers, reading like, infinite jest or something.

phichit's like "he's one of your alt-bros. viktor's an alt-bro. yuuri, he's one of those guys who's really into ideas and is planning to get an MA in philosophy. YUURI, YOU HATE THOSE GUYS."  
yuuri just sends back, like, a video compilation of viktor doing quads.

ALY:  
i'm just imagining yuuri's face of realization + the fact that he's SO INTO IT???? LIKE SO RIDICULOUSLY INTO IT?????  
his insta gets so much updates  
and his fans JUST KNOW and enable him probably bc they're SUPPORTIVE  
for the entirety of the manbun + stubble!vik thing, yuuri just has this wide-eyed 'deer in the headlights' thing going on and he's in a perpetual state of being so horny


	3. that one exhibitonist gif (M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what gif? idk it's lost to the annals of ~~time~~ tumblr chat logs and pixiv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chat dates to like ... april? probably april. i.e. THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

forochel  
it's like viktor ups the ante by sliding his hand up yuuri's thigh and do you see the way it SPREADS? /ded  
and yuuri just like ... also basically gropes viktor's dick  
i mean

alykapediaaa  
Y E S  
no fucking shame, these two

forochel  
godddddddthey're probably in a club or something  
in the VIP section

alykapediaaa  
YES

forochel  
so yuuri's tipsy enough to have lost his inhibitions  
and viktors just giving that smug look  
to all the glittery twinks sending longing looks in yuuri's direction  
like 'HA he's MINE and i'm GETTING IT ON with HIM'  
and he totally catches the gaze of at least 5 of them directly  
who all immediately blush bc, i mean, that's pretty hot too

alykapediaaa  
viktor is "you can look but you WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TOUCH"

forochel  
YESSSSSSSS

alykapediaaa  
showing yuuri off is his THING

forochel  
in the mean time yuuri's just like, panting wetly in his ear and whining to "take me home now, viktorrrr"

alykapediaaa  
look at this beautiful, wanton creature on my lap

forochel  
and "it's so hot hereeeeeee"  
wow they're gonna get kicked out of the club

alykapediaaa  
how many clubs have they been kicked out from, honestly

forochel  
too many  
too. many.

alykapediaaa  
chris laughs at them the first time, but viktor just raises an eyebrow like bitch why you laughing, you almost got arrested for public nudity

forochel  
HAHAHAHA

alykapediaaa  
and chris is just, okay point


	4. Chris + nudist beaches + douchey tanks (M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chris by his very existence warrants an 'M' rating lbr.  
> chatfic

forochel  
chris frequents nudist beaches w his boyf

alykapediaaa  
he likes to be free

forochel  
suns out  
balls out  
he has that screenprinted on one of those douchey loose tanks

alykapediaaa  
oh god, those douchey tanks that don't cover much of anything

forochel  
RIGHT?  
nip slips up the wazoo  
no one wants to see that guys  
put it away

alykapediaaa  
ok but viktor would wear them  
and yuuri is so very ashamed of him

alykapediaaa  
but also very distracted?

forochel  
he would oh god  
with his gucci sunglasses

forochel  
he'd wear freaking$10 h&m 'sun's out guns out' douchey tanks  
with his gucci sunglasses andlike  
idk  
yohji yamamoto linen skorts

alykapediaaa  
hahahaahaha

forochel  
yuuri's like "do you hAVE TO"  
viktor's like "oh but look at this cluster of hickeys here on my side,what a passionate we shared, yuuri! i want to share my joy with EVERYONE!"  
*a passionate night

alykapediaaa  
"oh god," whispers yuuri, collapsing in shame but also with a tinge of smugness.

forochel  
yes

alykapediaaa  
yurio hates them so, so much

forochel  
that tinge of smugness is why viktor will never actually listen to him about this  
cos he knows yuuri enjoys it underneath all the cultural shame

alykapediaaa  
NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR HICKEYS VIKTOR  
YUURI DOES, VIKTOR YELLS AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE

forochel  
yurio's like *THROWS A FRISBEE ANGRILY INTO THE SUN, IMAGINES ITS HIS EMBARRASSING DADS*


	5. step up au (M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is no porn in this we just talk dirty

forochel  
but hey step up AU would be perfect setting for that  
viktor eating yuuri out under a skirt  
thing

alykapediaaa  
/wheeze  
YES

forochel  
like, ballroom or a tutu or idek. I don't dance. some weird billowy modern dance costume  
OK FOR THE CONCEALED EATING OUT,I WILL REWATCH A CHANNING TATUM MOVIE

alykapediaaa  
there are those long flowy skirts?? haha i remembered a photoshoot of ballet dancers wearing them

forochel  
really??? ok. my dancer friends are gonna get so many weird qns from me  
would yuuri take up belly dancing

alykapediaaa  
not willingly at first? it's probs one of those things that phichit signs them up for  
and yuuri quickly learns that it's good core training  
so he just...goes

forochel  
yeah  
oh man

alykapediaaa  
also he maybe gets into this weird competitive thing with another student  
"I HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN SYLVIA, PHICHIT"

forochel  
viktor, top ballet....danseur. ...student.... find his LIFE AND LOVE through scholarship student yuuri katsuki  
who takes him to street dance battles  
it ALL FITS

alykapediaaa  
IT DOES  
and them dancing in moonlit dance studios  
for max aesthetic

forochel  
jesus yes

forochel  
and one of the dance battles is in the rain  
for max sexiness

alykapediaaa  
pleASE  
it says a lot that the immediate thought was of yuuri in a white shirt

forochel  
ahahahahaha is there any other thought to have??

alykapediaaa  
no HAHAHA there is nothing else that matters

alykapediaaa  
also intense makeouts that involve the barre. i just...really want viktor to lift yuuri up  
or the other way around honestly

forochel  
yessss

forochel  
and calling him sweetheart  
either. both. they both raise each other up

alykapediaaa  
the studio mirrorsss

forochel  
so many questionable smudges  
egads  
actually viktor would have graduated wouldn't he  
oh well he can be a visiting fellow alumnus person thing

alykapediaaa  
yes hahaha maybe he goes back as a favor or something

forochel  
tiny yurio: IS THERE ANYWHERE IN THIS DISGUSTING BUILDING YOU HAVEN'T DEFILED???

alykapediaaa  
viktor: *actually thinks long and hard*

forochel  
yurio: *vomiting noises*  
"DON'T YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL REAL JOB???"  
but then of course that reminds yuuri that viktors going on tour for like, half a year and his face does a wobble  
and yurio panics

alykapediaaa  
oh NO

alykapediaaa  
the lip wobble is yurio's #1 weakness

forochel  
and viktor's too

alykapediaaa  
alsooo cue the angst: "You have to go."

forochel  
well for viktor it's that splitsecond widening of yuuri's eyes BEFORE th lip wobble  
oh godddd  
yuuri only dances sad things for those 6 months  
until Phichit who is a blessing unto us all  
is like  
you should do a sexy dance for viktor and tape it and send it to him

alykapediaaa  
phichit is a gift


	6. Viktor + chris blanket NDA on poledancing pics (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this ... idk what this is i'm just c&p-ing at this point. is there a tag for "ridiculousness"? there ought to be.

forochel  
i do enjoy the headcanons about viktor & chris putting out some kind of blanket blackmail order on the poledancing pics tho

alykapediaaa  
OH YES  
i really do like that  
what stays in the banquet kinda thing

forochel  
god i want a fic where yuuri finds out exactly the extent to which chris & viktor went to and is like  
so. grateful.  
tears, blushing tears  
like he says "oh," in this really soft, overwhelmed way, like a tiny fawn in the forest.  
and viktor is like, SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

alykapediaaa  
"oh, honey," chris sighs, enveloping yuuri in a careful hug.

forochel  
"he's just ... so much, chris," viktor gesticulate wildly at chris later, over glasses of red wine like the wine mums they are. "SO MUCH."


	7. Chris+yuuri friendship + chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more chatfic with aly ... characterisation/character dynamic notes i guess???

alykapediaaa  
in line with this, i really really like this headcanon that chris and yuuri were friends during their junior days  
idk it's just really cute for some reason

forochel  
it isssss chris taking yuuri under his wing  
he's like "oh mon chou you sweet small thing, let us go for a hot chocolate"  
"but," young yuuri says in his not so good english. "but sensei ... not diet plan?"

alykapediaaa  
fanboying over viktor, chris saying, "he's really not that cool," and yuuri acting scandalized because BLASPHEMY

forochel  
and chris totally plays the "ah, but i am swiss - you have heard of us, no? we are famous for our chocolate?"  
OH MY GOD YES

alykapediaaa  
chris knows ALL the best hot chocolates places

forochel  
chris: "he's all talk and no game"  
[years later]  
yuuri: YOU LIED SO MUCH CHRIS, YOU LIEEEEEEEED  
chris: i don't know he grew game when he met you  
but yesss omg, chris is your chocolate guy

alykapediaaa  
yuuri is literally the only person who falls for viktor's "game"

forochel  
what IS viktor's game ANYWAY  
if we examine the anime  
like  
his game is to aggressively woo you and your entire family and neighbours

alykapediaaa  
yes

forochel  
and walk around in aggressively loose jinbei like a very specialised gravure model  
and just be naked a lot  
like, viktor  
no

alykapediaaa  
if yuuri was not yuuri. this would not have worked

forochel  
DESHOU??????  
all of viktor's other """relationships"""" have been mostly affairs of the flesh for a REASON

alykapediaaa  
chris, in actual tears: you two are perfect for each other

forochel  
because outside of bed he falls back on, like, lines from movies and the many novels he reads. like, anna karenina.  
phichit, nodding furiously: they really are ...

alykapediaaa  
viktor has no game to speak of and yuuri...yuuri is yuuri.  
re: chocolates. at one point, chris totally sends yuuri valentine's chocolate  
and ofc yuuri sends white day presents back, much to chris' eternal delight BECAUSE SO SWEET

forochel  
OH GOD YESSS  
and yuuri totes sends back like a SELECTION of japanesechocolates  
from the really weird purindog shaped ones to like  
royce chocolate truffles still in the cooler bag with a post it that says "PUT IN FRIDGE/MOUTH IMMEDIATELY"

alykapediaaa  
yuuri "unexpectedly smooth" katsuki

alykapediaaa  
chris is super charmed and he totes shows off BECAUSE I GOT CHOCOLATES FROM JAPAN'S ACE SKATER and everyone in the skating community simmers with jealousy

forochel  
oh god yesssss  
yuuri and his obliviousness towards the crushes people have on him  
A+

forochel  
oh but viktor would have eaten some?? idk,when are the euros

alykapediaaa  
ooooh yes, yes

alykapediaaa  
chris is a total bro too and takes a picture of viktor eating the chocolates

forochel  
OH MY GOD YUURI WOULD JUST BE LIKE  
steam coming out of his ears  
years later it'd be like

alykapediaaa  
chris: something relevant to your interests ;)


	8. size queen yuuri (M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chatfic with aly   
> this is really about ... phichit. SURPRISE.

forochel  
oh man i was walking home today and i suddenly really wanted phichit to shout "CARPE THAT DICK, YUURI"

alykapediaaa  
HE WOULD

forochel  
no idea what context tho

alykapediaaa  
it would be such a phichit thing to say and do

forochel  
poss in size queen yuuri fic  
yuuri's like "why won't he just FUCK me"

alykapediaaa  
HAHAHAH YES  
take the damn initiative yuuri  
phichit is just so tired of listening to this spiel for umpteenth time when there is a very easy solution  
and that is to carpe that dick HAHAHHAA


	9. 30 years later HONY fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the fucking stupid shit we came up with, I swear

alykapediaaa  
like 30 years down the line these two would be disgustingly in love with each other

forochel  
they'd be the adorable old couple stopped on the streets by the humans of new york guy and photographed

alykapediaaa  
yesss

forochel  
'oh, we met a long time ago in sochi ... it was a very different time. *loving smiles at each other*"  
excited old biddies screech on the internet "HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO THEY ARE"  
"i once led gay pride in tokyo," viktor says proudly.  
would there still be gay pride in this softer homophobia-free universe that kubo has created?

alykapediaaa  
omg there was this post about this couple who travelled around the world for their honeymoon and docunented it via drone and my first thought was literally viktor and yuuri

forochel  
OMG

alykapediaaa  
dude yes to the gay pride just because  
if instagram still exists 30 years later, viktor would still be posting pics of yuuri  
still with hashtag blessed

forochel  
HAHAHAHA

alykapediaaa  
bc they are still so in love

forochel  
there'd be like a Retrospective on Buzzfeed 30 years later  
entirely mined from 30years of v-nikiforov insta history


	10. Babushkas+viktor (G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we just really love the idea of viktor being adopted by his neighbourhood babushkas  
> in every AU and canon-verse ever

alykapediaaa  
viktor is full-cheese all the time i love him

forochel  
viktor with a boom box serenading yuuri  
yuuri: this is YOUR OWN BALCONY in YOUR OWN FLAT you can just COME IN  
viktor, uncaring : I LOVE YOU BABY ☆ AND IF IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT

alykapediaaa  
HAHAHHAHAHAHA gOD  
yuuri: YOu'RE DISTURBING THE NEIGHBORS

forochel  
assorted russians: this would never have happened in stalin's day  
NEIGHBOUR!BABUSHKA: OH NO YOU GO ON VIKTOR NIKIFOROV, VERY GOOD, WE USED TO DRINK BOOTLEG VODKA AND DANCE TO THIS

alykapediaaa  
YESSSS

forochel  
she officiated their wedding  
or will officiate it

alykapediaaa  
the babushkas are actually v supportive of viktor  
omg yes

forochel  
there's yuri's angels  
and viktor's babushkas  
HAHAHAHA

alykapediaaa  
hahahaahahahahaha  
no ok but i somehow headcanoned that viktor gets inadvertently adopted by babushkas

forochel  
"the silver ruble is strong, " viktor says smugly. "unlike.your fans, who all have to rely on allowances"  
O M G YED  
yes  
Y E S

alykapediaaa  
like. when they arrive at st. petersburg it's yuuri's turn to charm viktor's army of babushkas

forochel  
and when Yuuri moves in with viktor they have every intention of giving him the shovel talk, and nominated svetlana of the ex'kgb rumours to give it to him  
but EXACTLY she returns HOPELESSLY CHARMED  
and viktor is Very Smug

forochel  
in the mean time Yuuri is shivering from trauma in viktors arms

alykapediaaa  
omg poor bby hahahaha

forochel  
"svetlana loved you!" viktor crows. "she doesn't love even her own children!"  
"thay can't be true," yuuri says in all the innocence of one with very loving parents.  
"well, yes," viktor concedes. "she doesn't actually have children other than her frankly terrifying collection of guns"

alykapediaaa  
/snerks

forochel  
I'm so enamoured with viktors babushka army now

alykapediaaa  
viktor as this waif-like teenager being fed tea and cookies is such a good mental image

forochel  
aaaahhhhhh ;_______;  
my heart is growing 3 sizes

forochel  
and you know when viktor was living with yakov  
all the neighbourhood babushkas in yakov's area were like  
ambushing yakov and telling him to make viktor a star  
and th en when viktor moved out they called a friend who lived in his new neighbourhood and was like WE'RE PASSING THE BATON  
DON'T LET US DOWN, KOMRAD

alykapediaaa  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
lilia just sighs and aggressively makes tea

forochel  
stir that jam #likeaboss lilia


	11. guanghong x leo (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is ... actually ... the very first fic I ever started writing for yoi lol i was bored of victuuri until episode 7 or something.

**stop stealing my fucking food**

Leo is _just about to take the last glazed donut_ when it's snatched right out from under his nose. 

Whirling around, he sees, over a head of tousled brown hair, his donut bobbing away, glistening mockingly, towards the cashier. 

Leo's mama taught him right, so _before_ throwing down for his precious sugar-and-fat allowance, he checks in the mirrored glass doors and sees:

a cherubic face, big brown eyes, a fetching flush atop freckled cheeks, and the biggest, most delighted grin Leo's seen since his little sister Nina got to bring a cat home from the local shelter. 

He lets the donut go. 

And then of course two days later, during warm-ups, he runs right into ( _rookie mistake_! he curses. In his head.) the cherubic donut stealer. 

Cherubic donut stealer goes tumbling ass over tea kettle with a squeak, and Leo, ashamedly, feels some kind of satisfaction. no matter how cute a thief, they are still a thief. A _snatch-thief_. 

Then cherubic donut stealer sits up, pink all over, and big brown eyes get even bigger.

"Oh! You're the boy ... at the ..." he trails off, fingers opening and shutting like he's grasping for the words, eyebrows drawing together. Which, judging by his accent, he probably is. Ah, f-sh-crap, Leo is such an asshole.

"You stole my donut," Leo says flatly, pausing long enough for the other boy's face to fall. And then he grins. "Was it good? Have you had one before?" 

Donut stealer lights up, and Leo kind of wants to squish him, except Nina complained the last time he did that to her and this kid is _definitely_ older than Nina if he's competing in the Juniors. 

"Oh, no, we don't have it at home, but - yes! It was so ... crispy! And sweet!"

"Yeah, well," Leo shifts his weight to his heels and tucks his hands into his pockets. "That's Krispy Kreme for you."

"Krispy Kreme," repeats the - okay, the monicker was getting old.

"Hey, I'm Leo. De la Iglesia. What's your name?" 

Beaming, Leo's new friend says, "Hi, Leo. My name is Ji Guang-Hong!"

ii. 17, fukuoka (GP Finals)

Leo's incredulously examining the display of really, really uncannily realistic fake food when he hears, drifting over to him and barely audible over the sound of the crowd, his name.

"-eeeoooo?"

He whirls around, scanning the mass of moving bodies for - ah, there. 

Through a break in the crowd, between an old lady in a sober kimono and a salaryman, a slight teenaged boy dressed in a t-shirt and a fuzzy,striped cardigan emerges. His eyes light up when he catches sight of Leo, and he runs over to the shopfront, dodging around the stray passer.

"Aaah, it was so hard to get here!" Guang Hong exclaims, doubling over with his hands on his knees. When he looks up, the ever present flush on his cheeks is even deeper than usual. Leo prays to god for mercy. "I don't know how you can do it when you can't even read the kanji!"

"What can I say?" Leo smiles down at him. "I'm a genius at navigating."

Guang Hong wrinkles his nose up at Leo. "More like a genius at Google Maps, maybe."

"I regret teaching you English," Leo says airily.

Gasping in mock-offence, Guang Hong straightens up to punch him in the arm. "You made my English _worse_! My teacher --" his stomach interrupts, then, growling loud enough that the young family checking out the menu next to them is startled. Guang Hong breaks off to scowl, and then pout at the ground. 

Leo cannot help but laugh, before slinging his arm around Guang Hong's shoulders - absently noticing how well he fits under his arm - and swinging them back out into the stream of people heading across the bridge to Nakasu Island proper. 

"So, where are we going to eat, Junior Grand Prix star?"

Guang Hong ducks his head, before beaming back up at Leo. Leo crinkles his eyes back.

"Hakata Ramen! I read about it online, and did you know ramen used to be Chinese? I mean, it still is, but now the Japanese have just changed it and -"

"Made it better?" Leo teases.

Scowling, Guang Hong says, "No, stop making me unpatriotic. Coach would mop the ice with me." 

"All right," says Leo good-naturedly. "So you've told me _what_ we're gonna eat, but not _where_. See, I'm teaching you English - oof!"

Guang Hong removes his elbow from Leo's side. "Food stalls by the river. I read that they're the best to go to."

"God, no one will ever believe me when I tell them how violent you are, will they?" Leo laments. 

Guang Hong blinks his stupid, big cow eyes up at Leo. Yeah, that's a no. 

"Ugh, fine. How long is it going to take us to get there? Because I'm sure your feet hurt a lot."

"Five more minutes," Guang Hong says absently, glancing up at a street sign, before giving Leo a sweet smile. "But thank you for worrying about me anyway."

Leo looks away, then back, and shakes Guang Hong a little with the arm around his shoulders. "Yeah, well. You're debuting in the Seniors next year, right?" 

"Yes...?"

"Then we gotta make sure you're up to scratch, don't we?" 

"Ah," says Guang Hong uncertainly. "Up to scratch?" 

Leo winces. He's still not very sure about which idioms Guang Hong has come across or not. Communicating via text and emoji didn't really lend itself to that kind of thing.

"Like...you've got to be fully prepared, right? You want to show that you deserve to be there, and to do that you need good feet."

Guang Hong laughs. "Well, my good feet and my good nose are telling me that we're almost there."

And they are - they turned out onto the riverside walk a few moments ago, with the river on their right and a line of food stalls, lit up in neon and incomprehensibly advertising what they were selling on long, red lanterns, coming up on their left. The sound of Japanese chatter and stallholders calling out, and the smells of grilled meat, bubbling broth envelop the two of them as they enter the strip of -

"Yatai," Guang Hong whispers, so that Leo has to duck down to hear him. "They're called yatai, apparently."

"Okay. Why are we whispering?"

"So that they don't hear me butchering their language."

"Oh," says Leo, raising his voice back to normal. "Okay. How about that stall?"

He points at a stall all decked out in red - the cloth awning over the front of the stall is red; the stools are red; the counter running along the length and breadth of the stall is red; even the tops of the bottles of sauce are red. And, of course, the traditional long, red lantern in front of the stall is ... red. 

"Well," says Guang Hong dubiously, "The words on the lantern are right."

 _And_ the steaming bowl of ramen the cook (dressed all in black) just served the middle-aged ladies sitting at the counter looks and smells _really good_. 

"Let's eat there, then!" Leo says, and drags Guang Hong along with him. 

They order two bowls of ramen each, and spend the wait time exploring the pots of toppings left out on the table. There's crushed garlic, toasted sesame seeds, bright pinkish-red strips of something that smell sharp and make Leo sneeze("Ginger! It's pickled ginger!" Guang Hong laughs at him), and some other kind of pickle - green and not really something Leo wants to taste. 

"That's really yummy," says one of the middle-aged ladies, both of whom have been observing their antics. She's nodding towards the green pickle thing. "It's, um," and then turning her head towards her companion, she says something in Japanese, before turning back. "Mustard greens pickle."

Leo stares at the pot. "Okay." 

She laughs at him, before turning back to her own ramen.

Guang Hong’s smiling at him, too; a small, sweet thing tucked into the corner of his mouth, when Leo turns back to him. The back of Leo’s neck heats up, and he has to stop himself from clapping his hand to it. 

“So,” says Leo, “You saw Viktor freaking Nikiforov’s free skate today? I mean, obviously I was cheering on Adam, but - holy crap.”

The noise Guang Hong emits fully captures Leo’s feelings about this, and their excited dissection of Viktor freaking Nikiforov’s programme carries on until the ramen chef interrupts with a gruff “Douzo,” and two huge bowls of ramen clack down onto the counter in front of them.

Guang Hong adds everything to his ramen, sectioning up his bowl into different quadrants. 

“It’s a cultural experience!” he says cheerfully, cheeks bulging out like a hamster’s. 

Leo does not say what he’s thinking, which is _**You’re** a cultural experience_. It would: a) be rude; b) be way too on the nose. 

The broth is piping-hot and milky-white, redolent of pork bone, and rich and silky on the tongue. He sips at it carefully, that hearty and savoury soup. Next to him, Guang Hong slurps up the ramen cheerfully and says “mmmm,” at frequent intervals. It’s like one of them _isn’t_ from a 5000 year old culture. He says as much.

“That’s how you’re _supposed_ to eat ramen,” Guang Hong huffs, after swallowing another mouthful of thin, chewy noodles. “Haven’t you watched Naruto?”

“You know I haven’t,” says Leo, and attempts to suck up a mouthful of noodles, using his chopsticks as a guide. The effort kind of sputters out halfway through, the noodles falling out of his chopsticks. 

Guang Hong huffs again. “You need to train your chopstick skills some more, Leo. My mother made me click them together fifty times before I could start eating when I was young.”

Leo snorts out a laugh. “When you were _young_? You’re still a _baby_ , Jiji.” 

“Oh yeah?” Guang Hong’s eyes glint, then he’s darting in with his chopsticks - too fast for Leo to catch - and falling quickly back to his own bowl with -- 

“Hey! My egg!” Leo reaches over to try and reclaim his half an egg. “My _protein_! How did you -” 

Guang Hong’s fallen all over himself, giggling fit to burst, as the egg slips again and yet again out of Leo’s grip, and Leo wishes this moment could stretch out forever. 

iii. 18, Chicago (in the off-season: they practise at the same rink, run up to SKA)

“It’s so hot,” Guang Hong whimpers. “It is so _hoooooooot_.”

Leo glances over at him, wilting in the heat like the grass he’s sprawled out on, and sighs. 

“I thought Chicago was supposed to be _cold_ , Leo. But it’s so hot. It’s hotter than Suzhou in _August_. I cannot.” 

They’re sitting in the shade of some trees in a park and there are but the faintest stirrings of a breeze coming off the the lake. It is pretty hot. But they’ve spent all week training hard in the IceHouse, which does what it says on the tin. 

“Savour it now, Jiji, because it’ll soon be so cold you’ll miss the warmth.” 

Guang Hong grumbles indistinctly into the straw hat he’d perched over his face. Leo kind of wants to - poke at the soft skin of his belly, showing in a thin strip between Guang Hong’s tank top and his shorts. He slaps his hands down onto the ground instead, levering himself up and snatching away Guang Hong’s hat as he goes.

“Come on! Lunch! Tacos! And then gelato!” 

Pathetic whining cuts off abruptly - “Gelato?” Guang Hong’s eyes damn near shine. 

Leo wants to treat Guang Hong to a real sit-down meal at an all-American steakhouse but to be honest he's an 18 year-old professional skater who only just debuted last year and barely broke, like, top 20 at Worlds. He doesn't have the money for it. So it’s Paco’s and then back up north of the river for gelato that’ll _blow anyone’s mind_. 

Plus, Paco’s seriously has some of the best Mexican in the entire state of Illinois. He can't wait to introduce Guang Hong to the glory and wonder of tacos. It’s been eyes on the prize and bruised feet all week, and they _deserve_ Mexican food. And gelato.

“Yeah, but we’re having tacos before that. It’s like a couple of bus stops away from here.”

Guang Hong hops up. “I’m hungry now! Let’s go!” 

When they get to Paco’s, there’s a queue of take-out customers snaking out the joint and along the sidewalk. By some stroke of luck, though, a couple near the back vacate their table, and Guang Hong gets his aggressive Chinese person on and plops down into a chair.

“I’d be more embarrassed if this wasn’t for my benefit,” Leo remarks, eyes scanning the menu. “What do you want?”

There’s a long, embarrassed silence. 

“I haven’t read about Mexican food on the Internet at all,” Guang Hong admits. “Can you order for me? Wait - how big are the portions?” His eyes get even bigger when a white guy walks past them with his order. “That doesn’t look diet-appropriate, Leo.” 

Leo spins to face him and squish his cheeks between his palms. “Jiji. _Shhhhh_. We deserve this.”

Ordering doesn’t take too long, and the lady at the cashier twinkles at Leo when he orders in Spanish. She gives him an extra soda - actual, real Mexican cola - with a wink and an extremely flustering “For your boyfriend over there, you hear me? That one’s a cutie.” 

He wobbles back to their table, receipt clutched in one hand and cola in the other. 

“You okay, Leo?” Guang Hong asks. “You look red.”

Leo slams the cola down on the table. “Yes! I am! Drink this, I’m going to go get our order!” And then he beats a hasty retreat to the pick-up line, Guang Hong making confused noises in his wake. 

A short while later - the turnover is _really_ impressive and the dude at the grill is a freaking master - Leo’s bearing a tray of tostadas and tacos back to Guang Hong. 

How do I explain tostadas and tacos without being racist

He looks away one second and next thing he knows another tostada appears to have migrated over to Guang Hong’s basket. 

“Jiji,” Leo says, amused. He’s kind of got used to it, after all. “You’re gonna get fat.”

The big, sad-eyed look coming his way makes him wobble a little, but Leo takes the tostada back anyway. 

“Come on, you want to land that quad or not?” 

Guang Hong sighs and lets it go.

He makes up for it later at Black Dog, though, fucking stealth-eating half of Leo’s Mexican Hot Chocolate gelato while Leo’s too distracted by the way he licks at his ice cream cone: tiny, frustrating flickers of his pink, pink, and underaged tongue.

 _Ugh_. Leo needs to say about five hundred _Pater Noster_ s. _Lead us not into temptation_ , all right. 

iv. 19, milwaukee (skate america)

when is skate america? would there be a ...state fair? 

"I'm lactose intolerant," Guang Hong pronounces solemnly. "Why don't you remember?"

There's a pause.

Leo whips out his phone, scrolls through his gallery, and then flips it around so that the photo of Guang Hong basically smashing his face into a banana split is staring the man of the hour in the eye.

Guang Hong's flush intensifies. It's basically one of Leo's favourite things in the world. He tells Guang Hong so.

 

v. 19, beijing (cup of china)

"You really like food stalls, huh?"

"Don't you?" 

"Well, I do now."

MORE BEAMING, IDK, THEY'RE SO SWEET I'M GIVING MYSELF A TOOTHACHE.

 

+i  
20, osaka (nhk trophy)

"Not Dotombori?" Guang Hong asks, confused, as Namba station goes past. 

"Nope," Leo smiles at him, popping the 'p'. "We're trying something totally awesome and new for lunch today."

ONE! MICHELIN! STAR! SOBAAAAAAAAAAAA


	12. real yakuza overlady Katsuki Mari (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...lbr I might actually stress-write this at some point.

forochel

ok but I keep on thinking about Real Yakuza Overlady Katsuki Mari  
and how she basically runs Saga like Vetinari does Ankh Morpork   
and Sexily Terrifying Consigliere Yuuri  
and Viktor actually still being a figure skater  
who is an Actualfax Hapless Tourist

forochel  
who winds up in Yuutopia JUST BECAUSE he has a tattoo that's big enough to get him banned from regular onsen  
and for the longest time everyone thinks he's from some Interested Faction of the Russian Mob  
and are deeply impressed by his commitment to his cover  
but no, really, he's just Living Legend (not a mob moniker) Viktor Nikiforov, general ditz and sex on skates  
Mari basically allows him to continue staying in the inn because the shenanigans amuse her and also because Yuuri still nurses a childhood crush  
"You can have him," Mari tells Yuuri. "I can buy out his sponsorship for you."

forochel  
"I don't want to /own/ him," Yuuri protests. He's in his civilian disguise and looks nothing like her right hand man, like this. Many a low level boss has been caught out trying to tease the demure-looking pretty serving boy. The worst part is that Yuuri just smiles at them.  
Mari finds that funny too.

[from another conversation] with spookyfoot

and yuuri is her unassuming right hand man  
and yuutopia is like, this yakuza sanctuary hot spring  
bc you know, tattoos and onsen rules  
and yuuri's like anyone from any guchi can come here for healing and rest as long as you don't start shit  
and mari's like wtf little bro  
BUT THEN EVERYONE JOINS MARI'S YAKUZA GROUP  
bc of the Benefits

and people never really realise that yuuri is her terrifying second-in-command when he's in his ~civilian disguise~  
like sometimes the small fry who go to the springs treat him like a server  
and he just smiles at them  
~~and has them whacked~~  
okay no  
and everyone else is like !!!! dude, bro, no, no

okay and then the victuuri bit comes in when  
viktor, the ACTUAL CLUELESS FIGURE SKATING CHAMPION TOURIST  
reads an online review of how restorative the springs are  
everyoen thinks he's like, from the russian mob  
but no, he is actually a clueless figure skater with an inconvenient tattoo that bars him from entry to normal onsen  
YUURI IS STILL A FAN  
mari's like "I can buy him for you if you want. like, patronage, you know"  
yuuri: you can't just BUY PEOPLE NEESAN  
and viktor is very taken by the soft-faced pretty man who works in the onsen and everyone seems to like  
yuuri and his YAKUZA HONOUR GUARD  
viktor VS yuuri's yakuza honour guard  
the yakuza honour guard is V Impressed by viktor's commitment to what they think is his cover  
"wow," says tadayoshi., lowering his binoculars. he'd been spying on viktor skating in ice castle. "he really could go pro as a skater, you know?"

i guess the plot is viktor nikiforov accidentally marries into one of the most powerful yakuza groups in japan

spooky:  
but also  
consider  
another group of tourists shows up at the same time

forochel:  
no considerations  
*hides under rock*

Spooky:  
the crispinos

forochel:  
HASDLHGAKJSGLASLK  
I HAD THAT HTOUGHT THE MOMENT YOU SAID "another group of tourists"

Spooky:  
who are the italian mafia

forochel:  
we could still have "viktor and friends" and the yakuza are just like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE????? INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL SYNDICATE???  
viktor has no idea the crispinos have ties to the mafia

Spooky:  
HAHAHAHAH

forochel:  
THEY'RE SICILIAN TOO

]Spooky:  
YES

forochel:  
if i am recalling canon correctly

Spooky:  
i think so?

forochel:  
whatever, they're sicilian in thi sAU

Spooky:  
also yuuri being on a date with victor, and seeing a mafia rival, being like "i'll be right back." beating someone up, getting info, dusting off his jacket and returning to the table from the """"bathroom"""

forochel:  
HAHAHAHAHAHA  
what if someone tries to kidnap viktor  
OH MY GOD


	13. ciaociao & viktor have a conversation (G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hate it when fics demonise ciaociao so this is. this is my spite-motivated gen ficlet.

i want ciao ciao to have a coachly convefrsation with viktor at CoC

when hes like

"young man." ciao ciao puts a broad hand in between viktor's shoulderblades. viktor wonders if he's gonna get shoved face first into the bar for stealing away a skater like yuuri. "I'm glad you managed to bring it out in yuuri — you know?"

viktor: UNEXPECTED EMOTIONS

ciao ciao laughs heartily as viktor blinks rapidly at the bartop. it's — the marble just has very interesting veining, okay?

"let me buy you a drink!"

this is the night of the SP day

viktor has left yuuri in the hotel room to "sleep"

two glasses of "your finest chianti, sir, and I'll know! I'm italian!" later

ciao ciao, too, is very emotional

"it broke my heart to see the boy like that! but what to do! he is like a small woodland creature, you know?"

viktor nods, slightly dazed. in all his envisionings of throwdowns with celestino ... this ... never occurred to him. this isn't a throwdown. it isn't even a shakedown.

"I thought you must wait for him to come to you, but ... perhaps you have the thing of it."

celestino blows his nose noisily.

viktor considers what to say next.

"when I found him ..." viktor starts, not quite sure where to go next. "he was already an excellent skater, celestino."

at which point celestino starts bawling and viktor DMs phichit on instagram

"I broke your coach. Again. I'm so sorry."

phichit: HOLY FUCK VIKTOR NIKIFOROV MY FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW JUST DM'D ME!!!!!!


	14. pygmalion au (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chatfic origins of [this pygmalion AU on tumblr](https://forochel.tumblr.com/post/166660462442/g-i-m-p-s-t) \+ some continuation

forochel [10/19/17]  
I just want yuuri to carve himself like  
a companion  
he can't articulate to himself what it is that's driving the creation of this sculpture  
so he just chisels away at this block of marble, one of the last great bits of raw material available in the world, and talks to it about like "today my friend phichit came for a visit, and he forced me out of my doors, otherwise I would have finished your ear sooner, my dear; but I forget about the world outside sometimes, which is a sorry thing for an artist."  
and then he talks about the trees he saw and how he wants his sculpture to embody the sturdy litheness of the young birches that caught his eye.  
and OH the conflict is that the sculpture was commissioned by a very wealthy patron  
so phichit when he sees it is well pleased and says, "well, you will receive many commissions after this, I think."  
and yuuri'd TOTALLY forgotten that he'd have to give this sculpture away  
he dithers about finishing it for so long, just smooths and refines and makes his excuses  
he leaves the feet til last  
until one night the statue blinks and complains, "I want to /walk/, yuuri; why do you delay so with my feet?"  
and then after flailing and screaming and almost impaling himself with his chisel  
yuuri explains  
and the statue blinks again, pale veined eyelids sliding over eerily blank eyes, and a wrinkle that yuuri most certainly didn't chisel appears between his fine brows. "why, that is utter nonsense," declares the statue. "I do not wish to be parted from you at all."  
(why is viktor talking like temeraire? idk)  
"oh, but —" yuuri stammers. "that is hardly — the lady okukawa has paid for y-you in a full!"  
it is very different to be speaking of payment for a creature that speaks and winces and has all the movements of man but breath. slavery has only recently been abolished, and looms large in the consciousness of the polis.  
it looms large in his statue's too, it seems; yuuri has in his unconscious patter spoken of this too -  
"ah!" cries the statue. "am I a slave, to be bought? chattel?"  
yuuri has no response.  
"well." he grows still, as though turning back into cold marble. "I see."

forochel:  
of course after yuuri finally manages to explain viktor is super in on it  
he's like "oh well but of course — I'm sure I could pretend to be dead again, though!"

and yuuri looks at him with his veins running blue under the thinness of that white skin and the mobile set of his mouth  
of course one time vitya is chattering away to yuuri and Having Opinions about what kind of ankles he should have  
when phichit just barges in  
and is like  
HOLY FUCK YOUR STATUE IS TALKING?!!!? AM I HIGH???  
and it becomes this whole conspiracy where viktor is like well of course you see now chulanont, yuuri must run away with me  
and phichit is a little shit  
so he's like  
yes, of course, you're stolen goods

phichit smuggles them out of the city  
and they hide out in yuuri's parents' inn  
who are under the impression that their son has stolen some noble's concubine  
but vitya clearly loves their son a lot, so they will hide him away if they must  
barely anyone comes by their little seaside town, in any case  
in the meantime minako is like "wtf? whereis my statue? WHERE IS MY SCULPTOR?!!!?"  
she writes to yuuri's parents, of course  
having given yuuri his letters of introduction to the city  
and yuuri's parents are like  
"ah ...."  
and write back like "we haven't seen yuuri at all but we are sure he is happy in his life!"  
minako: this is Very Unlike them.  
they receive the letter saying minako is coming for a visit  
the night before she arrives

[9:57:48 PM] Aly:  
"nope haven't seen him but we're sure he's happy with his--uh--not a concubine!"  
Mits:  
obviously in the like idk four months that they were hiding out, they were properly falling in love  
yuuri is like "where did you GET THIS PERSONALITY????" a lot

[9:58:51 PM] Aly:  
eeeeee

[9:58:57 PM] forochel:  
and viktor shrugs and is like "I don't know, where did you get yours?"  
"ah," mari says wisely. "metaphysics."  
"I like the onsen," viktor sulks, as minako inspects him. "I do not wish to leave at all, yuuri."  
viktor is 100000% giving minako the cold shoulder.  
"well," minako says at last. "he is very like his ... source, I suppose."  
which s SO WRONG yuuri wants to howl at how wrong that is  
there's a whole thing where minako obviously tries to tempt him away with like  
"ah, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy"  
and yuuri quietly objects: he is not a thing to be displayed  
and viktor looks at him with a heart yuuri never sculpted cracking open in his eyes  
viktor, inside: he luuuuuuuuuuuuvsss meeeeeeeeeeeee  
but yuuri knows that minako wants this magical wonder, a miracle of art, in her house — for the prestige of it. and he knows that she knows that whither viktor goes, yuuri will too. what a coup: art and artist at one fell swoop.

i've written myself into a corner HAHAHAHAHA  
i don't want minako to be eviiiiil

forochel:  
Ok so she mostly is just like "i paid for all that shit yuuri i better get something out of this"

[10:07:10 PM] Aly:  
minako needs to get her money's worth, is all she's saying here

[10:07:28 PM] forochel:  
I KNOW  
i'm going to self-plagiarise an idea  
she fucking adopts viktor as a ward  
since she's childless and needs an heir for all her riches anywy  
and viktor needs legitimacy as a ...citizen  
of this bizarre mix of greece and reinaissance europe  
"he's pretty, technically i contributed to his birth, he seems to have a thirst for learning ... HE'LL DO!"  
because viktor DID seem interested in the things minako was telling him about  
she's like "so that's the constellation sailors use to get home"  
viktor: what are sailors?  
sailors never figured very much in yuuri's life  
viktor's just like "but I like onsen baths ... I like the inn ....???"  
"we have baths," minako says dismissively. "honestly, who do you think I am?"  
"I don't know," viktor says very honestly and sincerely.


	15. BUTTONS!AU (M-E)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE CANON DIVERGENCE EPIC THAT NEVER WILL BE  
> we did SO MUCH PLANNING ....
> 
> _also guys u don't understand. we panicked bc the olympics derailed some of our planning and we HAD to retool AN ENTIRE SEASON_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _/slams in/ TO UNDERSTAND THE FULL EXTENT OF THIS INSANITY, I HAVE ALSO DRAWN ART FOR THIS???_
> 
> [here be aly's attempt at art](http://alykapediaaa.tumblr.com/post/164020792346/doodle-dump-bc-forochel-and-i-keep-on-coming-up)

**Prologue**

 

By the end of the graduation ceremony, the second button on Yuuri’s gakuran has remained intact.    
  
Of course, intact is a relative term seeing as Vicchan has been trying (and mostly failing) to tear it off with his tiny paws. Yuuri should really put a stop to it, or at least, stop carrying Vicchan like he’s his firstborn child and let him walk, but they’re still far away from where Mari is waiting and Vicchan’s legs are so short  and Yuuri refuses to risk him getting trampled on.    
  
“Huh,” is what Mari says when they finally reach her, eyes on Yuuri’s collar. “I guess the person you’d want to give that to isn’t here,” she drawls. 

 

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” he whines, fighting the urge to bury his face in Vicchan’s coat and avoid looking at Mari’s smug face.   
  
Mari only hums, a familiar sound that has Yuuri bracing himself for her next words. “How much does postage to Russia cost?”   
  
“Mari!”    
  
“What?” Mari asks with a laugh and an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder as she pulls him to her side.     
  
“It’s not like he’ll know what it means,” Yuuri mumbles a little while later, because he’s not going to explain what the significance of the second button is to Viktor Nikiforov.    
  
He’s not that delusional.    
  
“Then just say that it’s an--I dunno, a good luck charm or something.”

  
  


**2012 Skate America, Nov (Y: 19/20; V: 23/24)**

  
  


20 year old yuuri somehow idk goes to a gp qualifier

in america

and meets viktor at some fan meet and greet /chris inexorably drags him along

to a ~~private meet and greet~~

 

V’s just starting his 5 year streak - he has 1 GP and world’s gold each, had an injury before 2011 season, there were some Worries right after Worlds (he didn’t do any ice shows to recover fully)

and yuuri's like "um, this is a good luck charm so you. ...your knee..."

blush blush blush

and then he says something about viktor's programme that shows he really gets it, the emotional heart of it

and lets something slip about like "it...gives me strength"

and viktor's like oh this boy

how do you know him? to chris

when Celestino has come roaring in to retrieve his ward

and Chris is like mon ami we competed together at beijing

and shows him a video of yuuri skating

and viktor's like, oh that style

and is intrigued

chris gives himself a pat on the back

 

but CHRIs was adamant that viktor has to woo yuuri the PROPER WAY

"Unless you want a horde of Junior skaters wanting to kill you, Vitya."

 

"ME INCLUDED"

oh god so this is the time before whatsapp

so viktor has to WAIT because "you have to earn his email, viktor," chris says sternly.

  
  


**2012 Grand Prix Finals, Dec (Y: 20; V: 23/24; P: 17) Y takes 4th, V takes 2nd GP Gold**

 

Yuuri scrapes into the final because Viktor instagrammed something about Yuuri with an Encouraging Note and he was too shellshocked to be anxious at his other qualifier and viktor was like “show me the skating you like best!!! <3” 

Celestino takes Phichit along 

 

Yuuri’s ex - yokubou 

 

or if he skated to jrock

to BRIBE mari into sending him senbei

 

"OkAY. FINE." Mari says even as she's rewatching the program for the umpteenth time that day. "I'll send the senbei."

she totaly cries to his interpretation of  "yokubou ni michita seinendan"

commentators are like "young katsuki yuuri shows uncommon maturity in his understanding of the pathos of growing older and losing track of your dreams!"

viktor's face is WET

once he looks up a lyric translation

 

[6:54:49 PM] Aly:

HAHAHA so deep when it's really just..."PLS SEND ME MORE SENBEI."

 

[6:57:10 PM] forochel:

he's pouring his feelings about the loss and longing of/for ... senbei

into it

 

[6:58:04 PM] Aly:

ohgoD

when asked about it, yuuri just stares into the distance and acts all mysterious

 

[6:58:41 PM] forochel:

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

that's what it looks like

inside he's panicking about what to say

 

[6:58:52 PM] Aly:

YES HAHA

 

[6:59:04 PM] forochel:

"ah," he says, "um. loss? I miss ... hasetsu."

plays up the accent

even though after almost 2 years in america

it's a lot clearer now

 

[7:00:08 PM] Aly:

god. and his fans are like "oh no, he's shy." and multiple speculation threads spring up about what he was skating about

 

[7:00:23 PM] forochel:

HAHAHHA

in the meantime in hasetsu

mari's just reading these threads

whenever she needs a laugh

 

[7:00:40 PM] Aly:

"guys, please, if yuuri-kun isn't comfortable with telling us, we have to respect that!"

HAHAHA

 

[7:00:49 PM] forochel:

oh god someone's like "so did anyone or anything in hasetsu inspire this?"

and yuuri's just like "my older sister"

and then everyone's like OH NO HIS OLDER SISTER HAS LOST HER WAY

and mari's like

"What the fuck kiddo"

"random tourists try to give me career advice now"

 

[7:01:27 PM] Aly:

OH GOD

"I'm so sorry."

"You better be. Anyway. I sent you a bunch of senbei and those seasonal KitKats you love."

"So please, never ever mention me in your interviews ever again."

  
  


Y basically  _ hides from V _ during the banquet bc he’s so shy and like alsdjglajsldj crying, he has an anxiety attack so C & P take him back to the hotel room and calm him down

 

V: /headtilt and sadface bwuh?

 

Mutual pining bits go here - Yuuri has no social media presence

 

**2013 Worlds, Apr (Y: 20; V:24) )**

 

yuuri is just SO confused at first

when russian ...not-national-hero-yet viktor nikiforov corners him

at world's

they're not even in the same group!!!

and is like

"TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOU, YUURI"

"I WATCHED YOUR GP PERFORMANCES, THEY WERE SO MELODIC"

"YOUR EYES ARE NOTHING LIKE THE SUN"

and celestino is like "is your student playing mind games with mine, yakov. that seems rather below him. yuuri isn't a threat. yet."

 

hahahaha yakov sighs bc what is vitya up to noW??

 

thanks to the SHEER CONFUSION OF VIKTOR

the quiet, shy, tentative elation of viktor??? wanting to be ...f-friends?? with him???

and also some "your triple axel could be so good, but you keep on hesitating in the entrance" advice

he comes in like, 15th in the world

AT HIS FIRST WORLDS

  
  


Earphones sharing,

 

aaaaaaaah he ... okay so at world's he's like "TELL ME EVERYTHING. I LOVED YOUR EXHIBITION. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"

and yuuri's like um, um, and then he pulls up song on his iPod

and they SHARE EARPHONES

and yuuri translates as it goes

and viktor, who can be clever when he wants, is like "you ahve to send me this song! here have my email"

Aly:

THEY SHARE EARPHONES IS THE CUTEST THING

 

[7:15:32 PM] forochel:

RIGHTTTT omg

lots of kokoro going dokidoki

yuuri trying to curl in on himself and make himself even smaller

but viktor just presses into his side

 

"like a limpet," chris told viktor later. "you're like A LIMPET."

"I'm just very physicall affectionate," viktor sniffs.

chris stares disbelievingly at viktor "I can only hug you after we've been friends for three years" nikiforov

 

this is the moment chris realizes that viktor is SMITTEN

like really really smitten

enamoured

"he's so cute. that was such a deep song"

 

of course vitya puts the right earbud in his left ear

so he has an EXCUSE TO CUDDLE CLOSER

 

[8:04:43 PM] Aly:

also pls imagine viktor's hand a few inches away from yuuri's BUTT

 

[8:04:46 PM] forochel:

"what? this is not how you share? but in russia!"

oh my GOD

 

[8:04:52 PM] Aly:

HAHAHA

 

[8:04:55 PM] forochel:

yuuri's butt feels like it's on fire

 

[8:05:22 PM] Aly:

"It was the most self-control I've ever shown, Chris."

yuuri is just. trying to remember what viktor smells like.

 

[8:06:08 PM] forochel:

to feel viktor so close to him

just one long hot press down his left

his minty breath in puffs against the side of his face

(viktor ate like 5 mints before commencing his hunt)

and Yuuri just kinda...leans closer and closer until he's like...LITERALLY in Viktor's arms

and Viktor feels so blessed, feels like his heart just grew three sizes bigger, and he will DO everything in his power to have Yuuri Katsuki fully in his arms

 

[8:09:34 PM] forochel:

UNCONSCIOUSLY

 

[8:10:12 PM] Aly:

yuuri's peering up at viktor through his eyelashes with the most fetching blush and viktor feels his breath punched out of him

 

[8:10:17 PM] forochel:

oh my godddddd

"he's too cute," he moans to georgi later. "gosha, he is the cutest boy in the world."

georgi, who is between girlfriends and in full natural bitchiness, raises an eyebrow. "cuter than you?"

 

[8:11:05 PM] Aly:

HAHAHA MAXIMUM BITCHINESS GEORGI

 

[8:11:23 PM] forochel:

"oh, well," says viktor, considering it. he lights up. "YES. THE CUTEST, MYSELF INCLUDED."

georgi raises his eyebrow and deadpans, "wow."

and then they stand together as they watch yuuri perform in japan's group exhibition

viktor gesticulates wildly

georgi has his arms crossed

"hmmm," says georgi, to viktor's distressed "can't you seeeeee?"

"he's all right," georgi concludes. "if you like that kind of thing."

"I want to EAT HIM UP WITH A SPOON," viktor declares. "I learn that from one of the americans."

 

later, yuuri touches viktor's hand and viktor tears up: "Yakov, he let me hold his hand."

  
  
  


**2013 Apr-Nov: Long Distance Pining,  (Y: 20/21; V: 24/25)**

 

so viktor manages to get yuuri's email

because yuuri emails him the track

on the day itself

with the lyrics and translation typed out

and is shyly like "my sister mari likes this band a lot. I hope you do too."

andviktor's like "!!!!!!!!!!! he has a SISTER he shared a PERSONAL DETAIL"

*clasps laptop to chest dizzily*

and then they just email back and forth with music recommendations and random things and dog facts and yuuri slowly, shyly opens up

about his classes and his favourite foods and books and movies

 

and viktor's like "oh, I am learning french now"

SKYPE, YES

this only happens like, THREE MONTHS LATER THOUGH

 

yuuri accidentally mentions that he's taking russian for like a language course

  
  


yuuri is in osaka to do some summer courses with the university he's registered with and, idk, work with some japan skating federation physical trainers

yuuri is taking russian immersion intensive course in the osaka university

and doing his physical training

and shooting commercials

 

"I don't understand," he says softly. "I haven't won anything."

viktor, in st petersburg, "YOU WON MY HEART"

he shouts at his computer screen

 

ROYCE CHOCOLATES

 

maccachin boofs her agreement

LAWSON ADS

they just recognised his numinous beauty, okay

katsuki yuuri popping a truffle in his mouth

and closing his eyes in pleasure

the little quirk of his lips

the way they part when he's swallowed

mari's like "MY BROTHER IS NINETEEN!!!!!!!!"

 

who does viktor bribe to get a copy of that ad

  
  


she writes a Strongly Worded Letter to Royce

  
  


they send her a free carton expedited from hokkaido

she is mildly mollified

 

"there better be more where those came from," she huffs.

"I had to do a fashion shoot," Yuuri confesses over skype, hugging his pillow tight. "It was ... uncomfortable."

"They uncomforted you?" Viktor asks indignantly. "How? Who? When? I will go to complain about them. Anna Wintour loves me, you know."

it was for an article in like, idk, ART JAPAN about "Japan's rising hope! The Skater With Passion!" and yuuri was given summer yukata to wear and ice lollies to eat.

"It didn't have anything to do with the interview," Yuuri complains. "Oh, maybe the ice lollies?"

Viktor looks up at the ceiling and prays for deliverance.

"What did they say to you?"

Yuuri shrugs. "I don't know, they said I was a natural. But the /way/ they said it ..." his eyes cut to the side. "I didn't like it."

"And it was so hot!" he rouses with indignation. "It is so hot now in Osaka, you know, and they would not give me an electric fan!"

Viktor can imagine. He opens up a new tab and searches "art japan summer issue"

  
  


viktor is just screeching in his apartment

  
  


"What are you typing?" Yuuri asks.

  
  


"Notes," Viktor says hoarsely. "For, for my letter to Anna Wintour."

Yuuri flushes fetchingly. Little does Viktor know it's because his hoarse voice is very sexy to Yuuri.

forochel:

"And I asked if I could have a towel because I was so sweaty!" Yuuri is really getting into the groove of his rant now. "And they said no, it was good for the photos! I hate fashion shoots." He concludes.

"I will look so messy and disgusting in them. You always look nice and cool in yours."

Viktor's head shoots up. He guessed Yuuri was a fan, from his skating, but. /BUT/

Yuuri's really pink, and his eyes are wide and lovely as he starts backtracking. "No, no I mean! From, um, um."

"Yuuuuri," Viktor says, delighted. "You've seen my shoots? Really? Which are your favourites?"

"Nooooooooooo," Yuuri wails into his pillow.

Viktor pulls Maccachin, who barks in protest, into his lap for something to hug too.

"Well, I think your shoot will look lovely." He's already placed an international pre-order for it. Thank god for Amex. "It is my favourite of yours already."

Yuuri drops abruptly out of the screen with a precipitous crash.

"Yuuri?!" Viktor leans forward, as if that'll help him reach through the screen.

"I fell off," comes Yuuri's voice, faint. "Sorry."

Viktor sighs and presses a hand to his throat. "You scared me, Yuuri."

"Sorry," Yuuri says sheepishly, coming back into view. He runs his fingers back through his hair, trying to put it in some sort of order. And Viktor hasn't ... hasn't seen Yuuri with his hair pushed back in a long time. He isn't prepared for this.

 

"Aaaaaaaaah," he sighs. "I hope our qualifiers overlap. I would be so sad not to see you until the finals."

Yuuri shrieks and flaps his hands adorably.

"I'm not -- Viktor! You can't say things like that!"

Viktor is confused and says so.

"The /Finals/?? I can't -- You can't be /sure/"

"Oh," Viktor says, taken aback. "But of course I can. It is only your jumps, and I am giving to you help now, am I not?"

 

"You really think so?" Yuuri asks, wide-eyed and so close to the camera and god, viktor's screen isn't giving him justice.

forochel:

askgkseljkgs he needs to buy a new laptop with a better camera. no! the most high definition camera ever.

"Of course!" Viktor says blithely.

and then viktor gives him advice on his toe loop and makes yuuri promise to send video

  
  
  
  
  
  


oh damn they set up a dropbox

or well

yuuri's like "I will put them in a dropbox for you."

  
  


and viktor, not being a college student, is like "droo...box?"

and then the next day he's like

"YAKOV HE IS SO CLEVER DID YOU KNOW ABOUT DROPBOX?"

 

yakov cannot be having with this technology

  
  
  


viktor uses the dropbox to send like so many pictures of makkachin

  
  


They don’t have the same qualifiers which makes Yuuri work doubly hard!!! With Viktor’s feedback! 

 

**2013 GPF, Dec (Y: 21; V: 24/25) (V’s 3rd GP Gold)**

 

but they held hands for like, fifteen minutes at the GPF

and yuuri'd had one of his flights of courage and kissed viktor right before the lift doors closed and took him away back to america

viktor's face is just stuck in this expression of shock FOR DAYS

  
  


"what is that on your face, vitya?" georgi asks when viktor meets them all in the lobby 1h later.

viktor works his jaw wordlessly.

 

*

 

"it's been a year since we met," viktor laments to georgi, who suffers much. "and I don't know if we are dating or not. I love him, gosha, I LOVE HIM SO."

  
  
  


*

this is when yakov calls celestino about "is your boy serious are just playing games with our viktor's heart"

and celestino's like "what is this am I hearing I should be asking you that!!!"

 

"My Yuuri is of a gentle heart!!!"

 

"so is our viktor!"

"well then!!!"

!well!!! then!!!!"

and then they agree that both their charges are idiots

  
  


**Dec 2013 - Mar 2014: Season of flirting/pining (Y:21; V:24/25; P:17/18)**

 

Flirting/pining, V’s bday, Nationals  

Phichit figures it out

Viktor flies to visit between GPF and Euros/4CC for a week; he sleeps on a blow-up futon and offers to buy Yuuri a bigger bed “it won’t fit in my ROOM, viktor” this is when

 

yuuri realizing at some point that he's sortamaybe dating viktor nikiforov after viktor goes and FLIES to Detroit that one time

 

"I think I'm dating Viktor Nikiforov," Yuuri whispers into the silence of their cramped dorm room and Phichit, who's been idly scrolling through his Twitter drops his phone on his face.

"YOU THINK?????"

“But -- he didn’t kiss me???? I kissed him????” 

 

*

 

Celestino contacting Yakov after Viktor leaves bc Yuuri is so PINE-y

Because he NEEDS to know if Viktor is serious about this

and Yakov, who has never seen Viktor like tHIS, tells him that he is, he is

And Yakov also confirms again, if Yuuri is serious about it too, because Yakov is NOT looking  forward to the fallout if Yuuri isn't

they're both so serious

the MOST serious

 

*

 

SIZE QUEEN YUURI!!!!

oh MAN in this AU

viktor tries to be vERY careful. he doesn't pressure yuuri into anything at ALL.

but yuuri is...v ready

 

he's been preparing himself all his life for this

viktor has too many spread leg photoshoots

for the world not to know about that bulge

 

OH MAN viktor *accidentally* puts an unedited picture of like...a raunchy photoshoot in their dropbox

yuuri sees DIKTOR in his full glory

 

OH SURE "ACCIDENTALLY"

 

yuuri was in class when it syncs up

 

"I just want to kiss him, chris." he says mournfully in french. "Kiss him all over."

"I have an idea," chris says, because he is Terrible.

 

L'Enfant Terrible

is his monicker in switzerland

chris is very proud of this

 

so viktor """accidentally"""" drops that exclusive pre-publication shot in the dropbox

and it syncs up in class, yes

and yuuri just ... it's only a thumbnail but

and then later yuuri is so busy dying in bed

(many little deaths is he dying)

he misses the skype call

 

and viktor's like "IT BACKFIRED CHRIS, HE THINKS I'M WEIRD NOW!!!!!!"

no viktor yuuri's just wanking himself dry

discovering what it's like to have two fingers in his ass

so viktor sends yuuri a very penitent email

that's literally like "I'm so sorry please tell me what I can do to make up for this"

and yuuri wants to be like "PUT THAT DICK IN ME"

but he is still only freshly turned 20 and they're kind of sort of dating maybe?? no one's said anything 

  
  
  


**2014 Worlds, Apr (Y:21; V:25; P:17/18) V wins his 3rd world championship**

  
  


anyway yuuri just STEWS in the fact that HE KISSED VIKTOR and viktor NEVER MENTIONS IT IN THEIR EMAILS OR SKYPES

and pours it all into his programmes at nationals etc etc that season

the theme is "anger" because celestino was in an operatic phase

soit all works out

 

like he blindly shoots this glare right into a camera

obvs that's the angle that's chosen

by the editing team

"katsuki is showing his ferocious side ... perhaps he had a samurai ancestor?"

and viktor's like "oh god he's angry with me"

 

everyone else thinks viktor is being melodramatic

"vitya, not everything is about you."

this time, it iS

yuuri totes stonewalls him before the short

chris whistles

"trouble in paradise?"

viktor glares at him.

cao bin is like "youngsters...."

georgi: "I suppose you had a point"

other unnamed skater in the year 2013 ... is warming up somewhere

viktor goes right after yuuri, so he doesn't get to watch it

when he comes out, though, yakov gives him a thoughtful look.

"you know, when lilia and I had our divorce..."

viktor sputters.

"you had better apologise if you want to keep that boy," yakov says. "now go skate."

anyway viktor follows yuuri folornly all over backstage after his skate

"ah, to see the wunderkind brought low like this," says the unnamed skater. "what fools love makes of us all."

georgi's like "that is so. poetic."

 

cao bin is blissfully ignoring them all.

chris is skating last so he misses all of this until he comes in and yuuri stops in front of him and says, "hi, chris."

viktor collapses in a sad heap into georgi's unwilling arms.

"ah, young love," says the unnamed skater that I really should name. "how piquant."

"you are my hero," georgi says worshipfully. "I want to be like you when I grow up."

"you're 24, popovich," says 27 year old blake henry of canada.

 

*

 

anyway viktor cries at yakov until yakov is like "cialdini put me out of my misery"

and then they arrange for them to meet into a secluded hotel lounge

"that man is not going to be alone with my yuuri in a hotel room"

yakov thinks about it

shudders

"yes, viktor has poor impulse control"

LITTLE DID THEY KOW I TWAS YUURI'S IMPULSE KISS

 

"did our coaches..." viktor says, slightly shocked.

"oh my god," yuuri whispers, sounding utterly broken.

"okay." viktor takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "yuuri, you're angry with me, aren't you?"

yuuri sits down behind the sofa and draws his knees up to his chest.

viktor sighs and crosses the room to him.

"yuuuuuri." he sits down too. "yuuri, we skyped three days ago and everything was okay. what - what changed?"

"nothing," yuuri says to his knees.

"was it ... was it something I did?" viktor thinks of the, the kiss, but yuuri didn't. oh. "yuuri, yuuri."

he pokes at the softness of yuuri's cheek that he can reach.

"what!" yuuri snaps, raising his head. his eyebrows are MAGNIFICENT, viktor thinks to himself.

  
  


"was it the kiss?" viktor asks, cupping yuuri's warming cheek so yuuri can't turn away from him. "your kiss and run?"

yuuri flushes beautifully, and dips his lashes ... beautifully. "I thought you'd say something."

"oh, yuuri," viktor says, a knot he wasn't even aware of under his ribs unravelling. "I though ... I don't know, I didn't know why --"

"isn't it obvious?!" yuuri bursts out.

"I thought I was such a fool, so stupid, so ... I don't know." yuuri's voice sinks to a murmur again. "but you kept .. kept on ... AND THEN THAT PICTURE."

"oh god," viktor says. "it was chris's idea."

"but why? why would you -- and then --"

viktor groans. "I want to kiss you but I thought, I don't know. I'm an idiot."

yuuri's mouth has dropped open a little -- like that royce commercial viktor has burnt into his brain.

 

"I didn't want to pressure you into anything," Viktor confesses.

 

his body is honestly moving on autopilot when he closes in to fit his lips to yuuri's, to lick into --

 

so vikto rlicks into yuuri's mouth and pulls back just as he's getting dizzy

and yuuri's just like, dazed and his mouth is so wet

and then viktor confesses that he didn't want to pressure yuuri

and yuuri lets out this sharp bark of laughter

 

so wet and so pink, viktor is losing his mind FAST

 

and is so lightheaded he's like "I think I came three times"

 

viktor stands up abruptly and pulls yuuri to his feet. "my room," he says. except the door is locked.

they have LITERALLY BEEN LOCKED IN BY THEIR COACHES.

so viktor sends yakov a text and they make out until the door is opened.

 

"Vitya, you better have your clothes on!" Yakov says.

Meanwhile Celestino is making scandalized noises

 

"I'm 21!" yuuri insists.

"are you?" yakov sounds dubious.

"no sex until tomorrow night," celestino half-shouts.

yuuri wilts

and then they are separated

 

*

 

and yuuri's skate to something wagner is appropriately doom and gloom

 

the commentators are having a field day wondering what's gotten into skater katsuki

 

he gets bronze at worlds

and a dicking

 

yuuri did like

two waltz jumps

in his ex at worlds

and had a definite hitch in his step

  
  


viktor cries a lot when they have to part from each other

 

"well!" celestino says exultantly on the way back to detroit. "I think we can start working on your quad salchow."

  
  


**2014, Apr - May, Detroit (Y:21; V:25; P:18)**

 

phichit could be 16/17 and have arrived the previous year to live with celestino

though phichit already speaks very good english, having gone to an international school in bangkok

"they are just very racist," phichit says dismissively. "even though I went to the british international school."

he did have a trace of a british accent. it was very weird.

"um," says yuuri.

"whatever. this means I have more time to skate here."

 

Yuuri is staying with Celestino after Worlds because ... he didn’t manage to get housing for Spring term idk

so obviously phichit is like "oh my god yuuri, you kerbstomped that motherfucker"

and yuuri just BLUSHES ALL THE WAY UP TO HIS EARS

and phichit is like "oooooooooooooooh, deets deets deets"

and yuuri is like "no! it's private! you're seventeen!!!"

 

"COME OOOOON YUURI!!!"

 

"you totally did it," phichit says, following yuuri up the stairs to the guest room where yuuri stays over the summer. "oh my god, yuuri, you did viktor nikiforov."

"YOU'RE TOO YOUNG FOR THSI!!!"

 

"Is he good in bed?"

 

phichit just rolls around his floor getting int he way whining "come ooonnn yuuuri"

and asking if viktor is good inb ed, yes

yuuri sputters. "that's - that's private!!!"

 

"HE IS!!!" phichit squeals

and yuuri just tries to spontaneously combust

 

"so is the proof really in the pudding?" phichit inquires next, rolling onto his belly and propping his chin up in his hands, grinning like a cheshire cat.

"you're the worst," yuuri says. "the worst teenager I know."

"you love me," phichit winks. "though not as much as viktor nikioforov's dick,I guess."

yuuri abandons his unpacking and falls face first into his sheets.

 

*

 

V sends flowers, people are like whaaaaaaat during the rest of the school year

 

Beautiful Foreign Student Yuuri Katsuki receiving bouquets of flowers

 

OH MY GODDDDDDD TRAIL OF BROKEN HEARTS WHEN THEY REALISE HE'S TAKEN.

people ask Phichit like

so those flowers......

and Phichit is like yeah yuuri's off the market

not that he's ever been on it

 

HAHAHA okok, one brave soul approaches yuuri to confirm

and yuuri proceeds to blush so beautifully, and says: "They're um, from my...boyfriendIguess?"

 

you. ....guess? said brave person says

so desperate for any sign of like

it not being true

and yuuri buries his face in a bouquet

 

(HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL)

 

my boyfriend definitely he mumbles

but it's still clear

 

**2014, June- Nov (Y:21; V:25; P:18)**

 

Viktor visits in ciao ciao’s house during june, exam season, so no one’s really paying attention 

and viktor' sjust like "pffft I'm racking up airmiles."

first visit, you have phichit being an absolute SHIT

and celestino is side-eyeing viktor the entire time

 

"he has jump training tomorrow," celestino says darkly and significantly.

viktor just perks up. "oooooh, can I help?"

 

YOU'VE HELPED ENOUGH

 ok ok no let's say viktor visits during the whole like

light conditioning/training/muscle recovery or whatever part of the offseason

he planned it

 

he somehow gets a copy of yuuri's training menu

and celestino is frantically calling yakov like "NIKIFOROV IS HERE"

yakov, enjoying the peace and quiet hums, "yes"

"he's a grown man."

 

yakov does not say: he's in your rink, so he's your problem

 

"why do you hate love, ciao ciao?" phichit asks one day

celestino sends a prayer up to the heavens

 

As a joke about the coaches matchmaking them V’s like I should skate to matchmaker, matchmaker and then they actually do it 

 

it's such a frivolous light hearted skate, too

 

yuuri is so enamored

 

that was so cute! !! he gushes, before blushing. "is that...is that okay to say? "

and viktor's just like YAY THE BOY I LIKE THINKS I'M CUTE

  
  


Phichit’s there for half of the visit before he goes home to Bangkok

 

* anyway so viktor goes back to russia after 2.5 weeks

and yuuri is so, so sad

he soldiers on through training

but he is So Sad

he has his brave face on

and yuuri is like wibbling on whether to call viktor bc he *just* left and he can't be too needy, right??

celestino decides to take matters into his own hands and calls yakov

"Please tell Nikiforov that Yuuri misses him very much."

 

"oh, good," says yakov. "I was just about to call you."

and then they both sigh

*

 

ICE SHOWS [more research needed - break up summer with ice shows] 

 

viktor engineers it so that they do the same ones

 

"what a surprise!"

no one believes him

 

yuuri: did you tell them to invite me.....

viktor: no they love your skating

(and i love *you*)

 

*

 

yakov and celestino struck up the oddest friendship over the two of them

 

"is yours pining as much as mine?"

 

"feltsmann, you have no idea."

 

"I've lost count of how many times I caught him performing Nikiforov's routines instead of HIS."

 

*

 

Season starts, Viktor skates like a ~man in love~

viktor being asked if he has a new *inspiration*

 

Also he wears the button pendant at his first qualifier CoC 

(like at one point yuuko squints at her screen and goes "IS THAT????")

she shrieks

and clutches nishigori

who's mostly like "YOU'LL WAKE UP THE BABIES"

"I JUST ABOUT MANAGED TO GET THEM TO SLEEP"

"OK bUT PLEASE TELL ME THAT *THAT* LOOKS LIKE A BUTTON TO YOU."

"ThIS IS IMPORTANT TAKESHI."

and Takeshi also squints at the screenshot and is all: "Huh."

"Well. Damn."

I'm so happy for him, she sobs

 

*

 

mari finds out about it from yuuko and interrogates yuuri during a skype call

"where's vicchan?" yuuri asks bc he has a one track mind and he wants to see his dog okay

"i'll get him later," mari says dismissively, before she adds, "but only if you tell me something."

and yuuri's understandably suspicious bc mari has that *look* on her face and yuuri has a feeling that he knows what she's gonna ask

"are you dating viktor nikiforov?"

"i think so?"

"what do you mean you think so?"

"well he sends me flowers? and uhh he--" yuuri trails off, bc he's not sure if he wants to tell his sister how far they'd gone (which is not actually very far). "he sorta came over to see me?"

mari worries abt her brother sometimes

"ohmygod. senpai noticed you!"

 

minako is like "is he treating you right??? why did't you tell us sooner??"

while hiroko wants yuuri to bring viktor home

"mom, i can't just bring him home. he's in russia!"

yuuri only brings him home like...how many years later

and all the while, viktor's been surreptitiously receiving baby pics via mari's insta account

yuuri is horrified when he finds out.

  
  


**Trophée Éric Bompard 2014, Nov 21-23 (Y: 21/22; V: 25/26)**

 

This was in BORDEAUX they compete together -- V comes in first place; Y silver, Michele Crispino bronze 

 

V is v weepy about missing Y’s birthday, Y absolutely forbids him from flying to Detroit with him

V’s like “ you can come train with me in Piter!!!”

Celestino looms up from behind Y and GLOWERS

 

Y at rinkside during V’s ex with a small smile and a blush and when V blows him a kiss that gif shoots them right up to #3 on the buzzfeed listicle.

 

chris: ugh you're so disgustingly cute

viktor: i know!

they get included in a buzzfeed listicle "top ten cutest celebrity couples"

yuuri "but i'm not a celebrity" katsuki is v confused

Back in detroit many hearts are broken 

 

**GPF 2014, Dec (Y:22; V: 25/26)**

 

"yuuri," viktor whispers, tenderly cradling his face in his cupped palms. "yuuri, I want to eat you up with a spoon."

yuuri blinks at him with his beautiful, long-lashed doe eyes in complete and utter bewilderment.

"like a pudding," viktor adds, just to be clear. "a delicious, adorable pudding."

this does not seem to help.

"I'm so confused," yuuri admits. he's whispering too. he doesn't want viktor to ever stop holding his face like this. but they both have to be on the ice in minutes. where they will be on a podium together. the background "eeeeeeeeeee" in yuuri's head gets a little louder.

"you're my adorable pudding," viktor concludes solemnly, and leans in to peck yuuri on the nose. "now let's have our medals put on us, hmm?"

 

Iconic (tm) podium shot 

 

yuuri only gets up on the podium with viktor's help

  
  


oh god he's all wobbly like a newborn fawn

"bronze medallist katsuki yuuri seems to be so excited he has forgotten how to skate!"

the entire stadium is like "awwwwwwwwwwww"

viktor leans down to offer an arm.

"very gallant of nikiforov, of course, as expected from skating's reigning heartthrob."

 

[8:19:17 PM] Aly:

chris, who of course got silver, is just biting down on his guffaws

 

[8:19:46 PM] forochel:

"such gallant," he says. "much chivalry. wow."

 

[8:21:33 PM] Aly:

chris also assist yuuri up on the podium and cops a feel bc he CAN bc he's never claimed to be gallant. the hand on his ass breaks yuuri from his daze long enough to stand straight on the podium.

 

[8:21:45 PM] forochel:

AHAHHAHA

he straightens RIGHT up in shock

emits a little "hyaaaaaaaaaa" sound

chris will never admit it

but he, too, dies a little inside from how cute it is

 

[8:22:27 PM] Aly:

HAHAHA

 

[8:22:39 PM] forochel:

and that's the shot

chris with his shit-eating grin

yuuri looking shocked

and viktor looking pissed off

the shot at the 2014 grand prix finals

 

[8:24:30 PM] Aly:

during the presser, viktor is just cursing at chris in rapid french

while chris cackles and says that it's not even the first time he's touched yuuri's butt

 

[8:30:10 PM] forochel:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and viktor's like "yuuuuuuuu~ri why didn't you tell me chris was harrassing you????"

and yuuri at this point has been dating viktor for like, idk, 3 years.

so he just smiles and is like "it's just how chris is, I don't mind"

  
  


VIKTOR MINDS

 

VIKTOR MINDS SO MUCH

 

HE'S BEEN SUCH A GENTLEMAN FOR THOSE 3 YEARS

  
  


(lies, he gropes yuuri's ass ALL THE TIME)

  
  


yuuri just gives him a doubtful look

" ATL EAST I DON'T DO IT WHILE WE'RE ON ICE. IN PUBLIC."

"I suppose you'll have to show me the error of my ways, then," yuuri murmurs, and winks.

SHOT THROUGH THE KOKORO YET AGAIN, VIKTOR NIKIFOROV

and then there is some spanking that night

and extensive ass eating

 

"Itadakimasu."

 

and then they fuck against the windows because "I want to show them all you're mine"

and viktor's just like, kneading yuuri's ass as he thrusts into him

 

[8:34:11 PM] Aly:

viktor gets his fill

yuuri almost misses his flight and celestino is flinty-eyed when viktor drops yuuri off at the airport

  
  
  


**2015 Jan - Apr (Y: 22; V: 26) - V at 4 GP Golds; 3 Worlds Golds)**

 

Pining over nationals,

Banging Detroit visit after 4CC  which was held in the usa that year

oh god, when viktor visits, phichit just...eyebrow waggles all the way

"You know, I can always stay over at Ciao Ciao's. Give you guys some privacy."

And Viktor is all "oh, no, there's no need, I have a room at *insert fancy hotel here*"

(envy inducing visit)

yuuri has these guilt attacks like

"these tickest are so expensiiiiveee"

viktor learns so many tricks to wring out yuuri's orgasms

bc as much as he wants to keep up, yuuri's a stamina monster

and viktor is not as young as he used to be

viktor forever marvelling at how...bendy yuuri is

"I did some ballet," he admits.

Phichit snorts very loudly and inelegantly.

"Yuuri has a black belt in ballet," he says.

"Phichit!!" Yuuri cries. "That's not how --oh my god, I hateyou."

ok during one of viktor's visits, they disappear inside a hotel room for almost an entire week

and phichit is impressed and scandalized bc "did you just spend an entire week having sex?"

yuuri can't even deny it

he has a LOT of fantasies okay??? and viktor said he wants to 'fulfill' every. single. one.

viktor goes back to russia a changed man

"I'm going to marry him, Yakov."

Yakov: god help us

they left

but only so they could have furtive public sex

  
  


and everyone's like

WE GIVE UP

 

it's ALSO the first time they're seen ~together~

 

OUTSIDE A RINK

 

THE INTERNET EXPLODES

 

THERE'S THIS WHOLE THING

where the wind is blowing

and viktor's fringe is getting in his face

and yuuri reaches up

combs it back with his fingers

and viktor holds yuuri's hand to the side of his face

and they're just smiling at each other

 

it's the front page of the university magazine

"INTERNATIONAL ROMANCE IN WSU"

#1 CELEBRITY COUPLES WE WISH WE WERE PART OF

yuuri's like "I I I'm not a celebrity!"

 

Phichit’s like HONEY PLEASE

ON THIS CAMPUS YOU'RE A SEX GOD

 

I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH ANYONE

he protests

 

Viktor is v curious about tHIS and spends the entire visit gloating

 

viktor leans back from where he'd jerked forward

oh my god SO MUCH GLOATING

smirk permanently etched into his face

when he's not smiling soppy at yuuri

casual possessive hand around yuuri's hip

 

and he's just pressing kiss after kiss to Yuuri's cheek, temple, whispering sweet nothings to Yuuri's ear

not-so-subtly sniffing Yuuri's hair

one time, viktor gets so emotional and calls chris while sobbing from TOO MUCH EMOTION "thank you for giving me this gift," and he's so sincere about that chris can't even tease him about it??

 

**2015 Worlds, Mar 23-29 Beijing (Y: 22; V: 26) - V at 4 GP Golds; 4 Worlds Golds)**

 

**2015 Summer (Y: 22; V: 26)**

Passes much the same 

Y has to go to Tokyo for sponsorship/advertising things, V arranges things so that he can tag along and also do a shoot or something 

They have a conversation about japan -- yuuri’s like i can’t afford it ... not until I win a Gold can I go back home.

V does not understand but lets it be.

He flies yuuri to Piter??? To visit the fam?? 

 

**2015 GP Qualis - Final, Sochi (Y:22/23; V: 26/27)**

 

They don’t have the same qualifiers but V’s at Skate America (Wisconsin) so Y drives up to visit with him.

 

Vicchan dies 

like when vicchan died

 

viktor would probably have been there when he got the call

oh or for MAX DRAMA

he WASN'T

and yuuri's first instinct is to go to him

 

but then he's like "no, no, we have the free skate tomorrow, I can't distract vitya."

but obviously viktor notices something is very wrong in the state of yuuri the next morning, during warm-ups

and badgers yuuri into tellin ghim

and yuuri cries it out

and gets bronze again

oh god okay so when viktor badgers yuuri into telling him he PULLS OUT THE BUTTON PENDANT

and is like "yuuri, you gave this to me and it means something! it means that I - I accept all your feelings. All of them!"

and yuuri just bursts into tears

and viktor's never actually seen yuuri cry like this before

so he panics a little and that makes yuuri laugh through his tears

so it can't be *viktor's* fault, which means it's okay for him to fold yuuri into his arms and let him dampen the front of his team russia jacket.

"shhhh," viktor babbles soothing nonsense. "there now, lapochka, there now."

and then he missteps with "it is okay, you will be okay."

but that just brings on a fresh wave of tears and yuuri's like "no I am the worst vicchan's dead and he was WAITING FOR MEEEEEEEE"

and viktor's like "oh, oh fuck," and then he thinks about what it'd be like if macca died tOO, and then HE TEARS UP

and that's how celestino finds them.

just these two CRYBABIES

CRYING AT EACH OTHER

"mio dio," he sighs, facepalming. "in my day, men didn't cry even if they bled."

yuuri sniffles. "that's a lie, coach. you cried when we watched INCEPTION."

"it was so sad," celestino protests. "that his wife was haunting him!"

 

"yakov shed a tear when we watched dr zhivago," viktor offers.

they're both sniffly and sound like they ahve blocked noses

and their eyes are terribly red

celestino brings out the jumbo pack of tissues he brings with him everywhere like an auntie

and the eyedrops

"for ... for me too?" viktor asks, blowing his nose.

celestino rolls his eyes. "you've earned it, nikiforov. now get out there before I lose my number one rival."

 

Viktor tries to follow yuuri back to detroit after the GPF

“I can train at your rink, it doesn’t matter, I don’t care.”

 

yuuri is all "you have to go train!"

and viktor will say some romantic crap like "the only thing i have to do is be with you, yuuri"

ok maybe viktor doesn't go to hasetsu

it's all very sad

he sends encouraging texts

and video messages

every day

EVERY HOUR

there's this whole thing where he's like "is it OK to send maccachin photos?"

 

**2015 Post-Nationals, Hasetsu (Y:23; V:27)**

 

OH NO I KNOW THE COMPROMISE IS THAT VIKTOR WILL FLY TO HASETSU AFTER RUSSIAN NATIONALS FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS. yuuri's family immediately approves of him bc if viktor didn't do that yuuri wouldn't have gone home at all.

hiroko is especially very fond of him and is all "thank you for bringing him home."

#1 son in law

hiroko is so ready to include him in the family registry

anyway YES she's like "you know our yuuri hasn't been home in FIVE YEARS and if it weren't for you WHO KNOWS when we'll have seen him"

laying on that Asian mother guilt

yuuri: ohmygod, mom, please. i'm sorry.

"So, how long have you and Yuuri been together?"

 

Yuuri is sweating bullets bc crap, he can't remember if he's told his mom? Mostly because he wasn't really sure if he would be bringing Viktor home EVER or that their relationship would last SO LONG without Viktor losing interest in him. Yuuri didn't want to assume. (Meanwhile, Viktor has been excitedly preparing to bring Yuuri home and is already making elaborate plans for their future.)

this is a test bc obviously the moment Yuuko saw viktor wearing that button necklace

she told EVERYBODY

thr triplets got it from SOMEWHERE

 

Mama Hiroko is making a *point*

the entire town knows

 

she just got drunk and was like crying "I'M SO PROUD OF YUURI"

"Yuuri-kun finally brought his foreigner home!"

"Do you think it's too early to plan for a wedding?"

Viktor is floored at the very warm reception--cements his decision to NEVER LEAVE EVER.

everyone just greets him like an old friend!!!

he's ALREADY the town's pet gaijin

they call him "Yuuri-kun's boyfriend"

yuuri: you can tell them to call you by your name

viktor: no, no. i like this better. i like being known as 'yuuri-kun's boyfriend'

and they practise together! !

which is when Yuuri first gets the idea in this verse

that maybe viktor would be a good coach for him

 

**2016 Jan-Mar/Apr, Before Worlds**

  
  


Yuuri - contemplating leaving Celestino/it’s time to move on, wonders if yakov will take him on, secretly hopes that viktor might coach him

 

Viktor - just really misses life in hasetsu, his knee is acting up, he doesn’t want to do the LDR thing anymore, he maybe broahces the topic of him maybe retiring but yuuri just tears up and he backs of

 

they also have a lot of skype sex

 

app-linked dildos

 

viktor is like...super invested in giving Yuuri the BEST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE EVER

  
  


**2016 Worlds + Summer (Tokyo, Hasetsu) (Y: 23/24; V: 27/28)**

 

Y finishes the rest of his course by correspondence from Hasetsu (it’s just my research project anyway I’m doing my research at the Fukuoka Hospital) 

V: you’re  _ so clever, yuuuuuuuu~ri _

Anyway viktor’s still in a ‘god i’m bored do i wanna keep doing this i want to do something different’ phase 

 

The summer viktor just never left

 

two years into the relationship

he finds out the truth about yokubou (a conversation)

 

Viktor doesn't find out what the 2nd button means until they've been together for like 5 years

 

in hasetsu

and OBVIOUSLY AFTER YUUKO MOPS UP ALL THE BLOOD SHE'S LIKE

so, Viktor nikiforov

do you know what that button means

bc he v publicly wears it as a necklace thing

 

viktor DID retire to coach him

aftera lot of arguing and viktor just -- this is after like, 4-5 years of being together -- so viktor just flops and is like, "I'm *tired*, darling. my knees ache all the time. I love skating and I still love creating programmes, but competing...."

so he does choreo for yuuri and yurio, who gets a discounted rate, and mila as well

yurio and mila fly to hasetsu to learn the choreo and work it through with viktor

THE RELATIONSHIPS ARE JUST VERY DIFFERENT OK

 

and then they fly back to russia with yakov

who arrived in like, the last week to rip apart the programmes for better techncial scores

mila's like "VIKTOR PUT IN TWO 3As FOR ME AND I'M KEEPING THEM"

 

"Only if you can land it a hundred times, Mila."

and Mila DOES

 

she learnt from the best:

katsuki yuuri

yurio and mila stay over at hasetsu for 6 weeks, maybe?

and mila has a good metabolism, but it's not THAT good and she's mournfully looking at all the good food and saying to yurio and viktor how much she HATES THEM

she and yuuri both

they bond over their sad, sad dinners of beansprouts and broccoli and saba shio

and plain rice

though when she lands her 3A like, super consistently

she gets her katsudon anyway

 

russia catches this katsudon craze

purely from their instagrams

"FOOD OF THE GODS"

"it's okay I guess" -- yuri plisetsky

"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE" -- mila babicheva

 

"But no one else makes it better than Mama Katsuki," Mila sighs during an interview.

they literally cry on the last night

because they have to leave the katsudon behind

 

Yakov has a private word with Viktor about his Future and grudgingly says “I’m proud of you”.

 

Viktor has a cry at Yuuri.

  
  


**Epilogue: SP Pelnod @ GPF 2016, Barcelona**

 

Five reactions to Yuuri Katsuki’s SP for the 2016-2016 Season:

 

“There's a very, ahem, clear message here," Morooka says, sounding slightly strangled. “Skater Katsuki co-choreographed this with his coach, Viktor Nikiforov, as well as with his ballet teacher, 1989 winner of the Benois De La Danse, Okukawa Minako. Skater Katsuki also mentioned influences from his dance crew friends in university. It is certainly a programme that showcases many different facets of Skater Katsuki’s genius at performance and his versatility with style.”

 

*

 

Yuri Plisetsky's tiny baby crush is rekindled. He pre-orders five posters from backstage, fingers flying over his phone.

 

*

 

Viktor’s hard-on is visible from space. Convincing Yuuri to skate to PELNOD was his best and worst idea. He thinks frantically about Yakov naked in the onsen; it is very effective and will make the walk to the Kiss-and-Cry far less painful that it would’ve been.

 

*

 

"Ahhhhh," sighs Chris, who’s feeling very inspired for  _ his _ own skate. "Our Yuuri has found his mature Eros.” 

 

Viktor hmms next to him, finger tapping at his lip as Yuuri acknowledges his audience.

 

"You lucky bastard," Chris tells Viktor. He’s told Viktor this at several points, but especially means it after the scorcher that is Pelnod.

 

*

 

Leo De La Iglesia unexpectedly develops a raging crush. 

 

"His taste in music is  _ sick _ ," Leo enthuses to a very jealous Guanghong. 

 

Guanghong did not stay up late to listen to this. He points out very very loudly that Yuuri has a boyfriend. 

 

Leo flushes. “It’s -- it’s not like that, come on...”

 

*

 

It is, indeed, not like that.  _ That _ meaning Yuuri having a boyfriend. Because -- 

 

Viktor proposes to Yuuri on the ice after his free skate, or perhaps it is Yuuri who proposes.

 

Either way, this is what happens:

 

After Yuuri lands a quad flip at the end of his programme, spins himself and reaches a hand out towards where Viktor was standing, Viktor skids out onto the ice in his loafers and Yuuri skates to him on shaking legs, and they almost, almost topple over, wrapped up in each other as they are.

 

*

 

[Instagram photo description]

 

**v-nikiforov** my love, my secret, my hard-bodied dove, my branch of nights, my star of sand #engaged #viktuuri #neruda

 

**THE END**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	16. knotting hill AU (T/M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i did it for the pun lbr  
> also this is VERY early on so my conceptualisation of abo here was still very much ambiguous

forochel  
oh lord  
what i really want  
is an abo notting hill au  
named  
KNOTTING HILL  
/cackles

alykapediaaa  
goddamnit HHAHAHA

forochel  
i know there's already a notting hill au tbh but THE PUN!!! THE PUN!!!!

alykapediaaa  
DO IT FOR THE PUN

forochel  
the hipster cafe called 'knot worth your time'  
the bookshop is called much ado about knot-thing  
it's also a little bit of like, a dynamic equality space  
viktor the international slavic star who stumbles in to hide from the paps  
and goes "that smells /amazing/"  
immediately five hostile heads pop up round the shelves to glare at him  
but no, really, he means the smell of the lunch that yuuri's just heated up and is eating at the counter

alykapediaaa  
*chinhands* pls tell me more

forochel  
and obviously yuuri's just staring at him all deer in headlights  
which translates to wide doe eyes blinking enthrallingly up at viktor  
who says, "ah!" and is about to say something else undoubtedly suave and very charming, when the door rattles  
instead he says, "hide me!" and dives behind the counter just in time

forochel  
for a pap to poke their head in  
so he can witness the glory that is (a) yuuri's butt from below but also (b) the way yuuri straightens from his slouch to say very sternly, "paparazzi are not welcome here. you know we have a restraining order on you lot."  
viktor falls immediately in love.  
yuuri is hyper aware that the star of his FAVOURITE adaptation of his FAVOURITE book is curled on the floor behind him.  
they haven't vacuumed in a week.  
what if viktor nikiforov gets biscuit crumbs on his coat? oh god!  
(at which point i have to wikipedia notting hill's plot bc i forgot most of it)

alykapediaaa  
same ahhhaha. i have like a vague...recollection  
there's a bathtub involved at some point in the film, i think

forochel  
i just remember the iconic "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" line

forochel  
and also them climbing a garden fence  
the problem is they break up so many times in the film and like the heck  
maybe yuuri would try to break up with viktor after sleeping with him to like  
save him  
that seems more characteristic  
and also I guess because of the whole "tawdry omega" thing

alykapediaaa  
yeah. yuuri would try to save viktor's reputation and such

forochel  
and he's literally gone and let himself be swept off his feet by one of the most famous alphas in the world  
so there's a bit of the "am I a TRAITOR to the CAUSE" in there too  
like you know all along it's been "I'm a strong independent omega who don't need no alpha!"

alykapediaaa  
ahhhh that would make for really interesting dynamic politicssss

forochel  
and viktor's just like "can't you ignore all of that, darling?" whilst crying beautifully. "just for a minute, darling, just pretend -- if none of that existed, would you want me?"  
and yuuri's just like. "I can't. I can't imagine my life's work away, Viktor."  
and so they part ways, unhappy, and the news breaks ANYWAY  
and viktor in his grief and panic says some rather cutting things to christophe, and is overheard by yuuri who'd girded his loins and crept into, idk, the hotel they're staying in to try and talk things out  
so obvs yuuri is CRUSHED and has a bit of a cry when he gets back to his flat  
and phichit's like "I will destroy him on social media. just give me the word."  
and leo and gh are nodding furiously behind him, phones at the ready  
d'awwww

alykapediaaa  
babiesss

forochel  
time passes, etc etc  
he tries to ignore viktor on his press tour  
it is hard  
they have, idk, open mic nights  
plan a press campaign  
do school talks  
viktor retweets something the official twitter acount posts  
yuuri almost has a panic attack  
and he goes on an aborted date with michele crispino

alykapediaaa  
ohohoho

forochel  
"I'm not here for his gay panic," yuuri says later. "All right? So he's an omega who loves omegas. I'm not ... just because I let you guys use my bookshop doesn't mean I'm..."

AND THEN THE WHOLE "I'M JUST A GIRL ETC" SPEECH HAPPENS ok the end.


End file.
